@Rock and Roll Ken Doll I can't believe I'm posting this here, I feel like I'm breaking some sort of secret code. Our high school had a student-run online magazine that came out once a month. Aziz was a regular contributor. Here's one of his articles. Don't worry, none of the jokes make sense to me anymore either.
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll I was two years behind Aziz Ansari, but I don't have the yearbook with his senior stuff in it. :(
OH MAN high school yearbook. I went to a tiny residential school (think Hogwarts for extreme nerds of the math and science variety). There were only 60-something people in my graduating class. They decided to be DIFFERENT and put the pictures in reverse alphabetical order, so for once in my life, I got to be near the front of the section (maiden name started with a W). We all had our senior pictures taken on the same day, and I remember the photographer had this one black velvet thing and pearl necklace that we all had to wear. It was like a boatneck velvet dickie, to make it look like we were wearing something FANCY instead of tshirts from the local thrift store. My greatest shame is that my senior quote was copied from my boyfriend, who used it as his senior quote the previous year. It was a line of poetry he wrote himself. Not terrible, but not AT ALL representative of me. Which, come to think of it, really says a lot about many of the choices I made in high school.
We also did senior wills - did anyone else do this? - where you had a strict character count. It was written as if you were dying and you had to leave your belongings/skills/whatever to younger students. It's written in so much code I can hardly decipher it now, lots of inside jokes and abbreviations. All the senior wills were published in a separate booklet, which I still have tucked inside my yearbook.
@KEO I am due in 15 days and DITTO.
@fondue with cheddar I disagree with the idea that this difference is biologically based. I think it has more to do with our culture and the way many (but not all!) girls/younger women are so eager to please that they will let a lot of borderline behavior slide. I know I did it when I was younger, until I realized that I would benefit more by making my boundaries clearer - it's not really much of a relationship if you are constantly bending over backwards to accommodate some dude's immaturity in the fear that you might lose him. You teach people how to treat you by the way you respond to them.
FWIW, I agree that the way that the differences in this kind of stuff are less pronounced as we get older is more a product of EVERYBODY maturing, not just the dudes.
@itiresias Normally I hate to make sweeping generalizations along the lines of "this gender does this thing, and the other gender does it this other way!" However, I started dating my husband when we were 21 (we're 29 and 28 now), and we laugh about the way he/we acted at that age all the time. He totally lived like you would have expected a 21-year-old bachelor to live, and even though I fell in love with that guy and married that guy with no expectations that he would change, I will report that he happily cooks and cleans generally acts like an adult. It happens.
@KatnotCat FWIW, I just clicked on it and read it and there was nothing that was NSFW on the page. I also have really good adblockers installed though.
@Decca AAAAHHH I read that yesterday! As a pregnant lady, it was extra horrifying - I think I will pass on all prenatal massages from now on.
So, I am sure many people will consider this sacrilege, but my husband and I won a chili cookoff one time, and I am going to tell you my secret.
For the meat, we did use ground beef (or some ground meat, whatever), but we also added an equal amount of ground chorizo. Just the cheap kind you can get in Walmart in the refrigerator section with the queso and tortillas.
We also added a little bit of cinnamon. The chorizo and the cinnamon... it's tough to describe what happened, but after simmering for hours, they made this entirely new smell/taste and it was WONDERFUL. Kind of sweet/smoky? I have dreams about it.
We also added a whole block of cream cheese to make it a creamy chili, but by now I've broken so many chili rules I can't tell you anything else. We did have lots of other beans/tomato product/spices. The whole thing was delicious and just different enough to really set us apart from all the other chilis in the competition.
For LW1: When I was in grad school, my cohort consisted of a bunch of ladies and one really flirty guy. The guy had a girlfriend he'd been dating for years, but she was in a grad program a few hours away. One of the girls in our cohort really fell hard for this dude, and because he was a genuinely nice (and kind of flirty) guy, we could all just see her getting more and attached while he was pretty oblivious. HOWEVER, once his girlfriend came to visit, it was just incredibly clear that he was head over heels for her, and she was probably one of the most awesome ladies I have ever met. After that, my friend's crush seemed to cool off a little, I think it helped her to see him interact with his Actual Girlfriend.
My point is, this other girl might have an easy time deluding herself that she's a better fit for him since she never sees you, but if you two are totally solid and she gets a chance to see it for herself, it could make her face reality. You don't have to hang out just the 3 of you and rub it in her face or anything, just meet up with a bunch of people for drinks or something so she can see you interact with each other. Maybe that will help?