i'm not even going to see them and i dread them -- dread talking to them after!
my parents died about 5 years ago, and multiple relatives (my grandma is the worst about this) each individually expect me to travel 8+ hours to spend Thanksgiving with *them*, and feel hurt when I don't. But I don't want to spend Thanksgiving with anyone except maybe my spouse or friends or else volunteering at a homeless shelter, because it is very depressing to me to do a "family" Thanksgiving without my parents. Doing that makes me feel actively bad. The relatives don't stop to consider & be sympathetic about that -- they just feel grudging that I don't come out to spend the holiday with *them*, and are sort of passive-aggressive about it, implying that i'm wrong for not celebrating holidays the "normal" way anymore. it is just a crappy dynamic that manages to depress me every time. But definitely not enough to make the mistake of trying to do a "family" Thanksgiving again and feeling absolutely hellish. ugh.
"In a post-antibiotic era, would you mess around with power tools? Let your kid climb a tree? Have another child?"
aaaand right there, ladies and gentlemen, the author has lost her mind. In a post-antibiotic world, would I let my kid climb a tree? or wrap him in bubble shrink for the rest of his known days??? yes, antibiotics save us from potentially fatal illnesses, but dear god.
@polka dots vs stripes
you might like Lolita Lempicka (always fantastic) or Miss Dior Chérie, which is white florals meets citrus, just like Happy.
Happy is unusual in how likely it is to go bad! It has a surprisingly short shelf life. So if I were you, I might invest in what seems initially like a pricier perfume, but will probably be much better value since it will last (if you want to commit to one, of course).
just about anything by frederic malle is amazing, if you don't mind a little extra price. i've got Une Rose, which is the best rose scent i've ever had. you might like En Passant (white floral + citrus again), or Carnal Flower, which is just nuts but also very good, esp. (obviously) for a night out. it's based on tuberose.
the Honda Civic Hybrid is pretty sweet. I have one from 2006 (named Hibiscus, even though she's navy blue!), and I get excellent mileage plus she runs beautifully. The only times I've had to have repairs, it's been the battery (which is normal in a car this age), and it's usually covered either by the warranty or by recalls on hybrid technology, so the repairs have been quick and free. She also scoots around and fits wonderfully into tight space -- I parallel-park her into apparently impossible spaces all the time in my city. Big vote for a compact hybrid!
such a cute set of presents!
Roald Dahl's The Witches + a white mouse, if you can get clearance from the parents!! or, give him a nice novel with a female protagonist. e.g. Matilda.
OR, i once chatted with the owner of a legendary comic/graphic novel bookstore about this not so long ago in regards to my own nephew, and he said all the 8-year-old boys were reading a graphic novel called Bone, by Jeff Smith.
by the end of the essay you admit that you actually like quite a number of poems -- so why hold onto the idea of "hating poetry"?? that just seems pointlessly self-limiting, even as a comic essay. and not very new or brave to write about -- plenty of people have this attitude.
also, moss comes in more than one color!
On Photographer Mark Menjivar Lives the Dream (Spends Four Years Looking In Other People's Refrigerators)
sooo many of these people obviously don't cook! that made me a little sad.
Yes, the Paris Review interviews are wonderful! It's definitely an important way to remember someone to hear her speak post death instead of letting others speak for her. But the obituary is a fascinating genre, too. Thanks for suggesting the Guardian obit -- that's a great idea and I'll go over there now!
I was clicking over to the NY Times at various points yesterday, watching how they revised and expanded their obituary for her. It started out short and factual, then bloomed out to a *very* *negative* portrayal of her worst moments of her life as her summation, her biography (the 9/11 quote, the abandonment of young children, a short soundbite of her response to winning the Nobel that made her sound super-unpleasant without larger context), and then somebody must have intervened because it got edited at the same time as it was lengthened into a much more balanced obituary that was less sensational-soundbite-judgmental, and more measured and contextualized.
Maybe they learned after their glib and frivolous original obituary of Derrida that had to be balanced by a second more measured one two days later because so many people objected?
I don't know, but I'm glad they're rethinking the settling of scores with literary figures via obituary. I don't want a boring or omission-riddled platitudinous eulogy per se, but it's also distasteful and unrespectful to publish an obituary that is sensationalist or just seeking page counts. There's obviously got to be a middle way! I mean, someone just died, and it's a biased and incomplete way to sum up a life to just be sensationalist. I do feel like there should be some respect at the moment of someone's death.
the Hairpin version of this is very nice and exploratory of her life! RIP, Doris.
maybe for the future, you can get one of those super-cheap prepaid mobile phones -- the burner type -- so that you can control the getting-of-calls yourself?
but that's awful -- i can't believe they just went to the next name on the list -- ugh, lots of sympathy.