Thank you for writing this, Emma.
I feel like something is changing in certain communities right now, and articles like this are a part of it. We are finally telling the things that men do. This is going to be ugly. But I'm so glad it's happening.
@sdguy A relationship doesn't have to be non-consensual to be abusive, for one party to take advantage of the other, to create long-term emotional damage, etc etc. The author shared her own very personal story, about a professor who initiated an inappropriate with his student (many times, apparently) and who made forceful advances on her when she was intoxicated. If you have no sympathy for her based on your own experience, I guess that's fine for you; but you are not the author and you're not qualified to invalidate HER experience, just as she would have no business assuming you're a victim without knowing yours. You're being rude and dismissive.
Male victims of abuse are indisputably under-represented in narratives about rape, abuse, and harassment, but a) a woman sharing her story of abuse (whether or not you think it qualifies) does not delegitimize the stories of male abuse victims, and b) the author is very literally talking about a group of specific men. She shared a story with other women in her field, and they all shared stories about men who abused them. It's not a sweeping statement, that men are always the abusers and women are always the victims. It's an extremely literal 'they'. And even if it wasn't, there doesn't need be a "not all men" disclaimer if we're talking about abusers -- of both men and women!
For someone who is supposedly sticking up for abuse victims, your nit-picking over what constitutes rape or abuse or harassment makes me think you're a terribly poor ally for a man who has been abused, considering how many men and boys do try to speak about their experiences and are totally dismissed.
WOW I GUESS I MADE SOMETHING OUT OF MY TWENTY SECOND YEAR AFTER ALL
Gosh I enjoyed this Jazmine
Langston, you can't just tell people that they're white...
By Jazmine on Weekend Roundup
@talie Hi! Yes! So, right now: I am working full-time at good ol' NYMag and in the morning and at night with the Hairpin, so I haven't had a ton of time to dedicate to the spam comments-- which sucks, because this is my job now!-- but I ABHOR them and I promise to you that I will dedicate my life to eradicating them, protecting you from the likes of "NAME@FACEBOOK" and magic pills that'll get yr husband back and scary links that I'm afraid to click on. It is my solemn vow.
(I feel like a politician?!!?! Don't vote for me)
@NellyBly I feel like you can finesse this to fictional perfumes for fictional people (because these versions of these writers are Sicardi's constructs), but yes.
And generally, this was not as cool as I wanted it to be.
By cherrispryte on Apologia
Holy shit this was brilliant and perfect and kind of like you crawled inside my head a little. Like, so good I logged in for the first time in two years to tell you how good.
By needsmoresalt on Apologia
The term "stop-hitting-yourself feminism" is amazing and perfect, but I have a different opinion about women "over-apologizing": it is great and I love it. The problem is actually men under-apologizing. It's nice to soften the blow of criticism with an apology. It puts people at ease. There's no need to be brusque and unapologetic unless you're Rihanna.
By madeleineld on Apologia
This is great, and it is really nice to see someone call out Mean Girls / Tina Fey for this. I enjoy that movie a lot, but it has always REALLY bothered me that it shows bitchy, competitive girls as if they're in a total vacuum, and particularly that the main dreamy love interest is just super nice and turned off by all the meanness.