By cherrispryte on Apologia
Holy shit this was brilliant and perfect and kind of like you crawled inside my head a little. Like, so good I logged in for the first time in two years to tell you how good.
By needsmoresalt on Apologia
The term "stop-hitting-yourself feminism" is amazing and perfect, but I have a different opinion about women "over-apologizing": it is great and I love it. The problem is actually men under-apologizing. It's nice to soften the blow of criticism with an apology. It puts people at ease. There's no need to be brusque and unapologetic unless you're Rihanna.
By madeleineld on Apologia
This is great, and it is really nice to see someone call out Mean Girls / Tina Fey for this. I enjoy that movie a lot, but it has always REALLY bothered me that it shows bitchy, competitive girls as if they're in a total vacuum, and particularly that the main dreamy love interest is just super nice and turned off by all the meanness.
By Mary Ellen Kirkendall@facebook on Ask a Fancy Person: Consignment Shops, Gendered Pronouns and Leaving the Forever 21 Zone
Marry a nice woman and you can pool your resources in costume jewelry and accessories! If that's not an option an occasional "naked lady party" or accessory swap can make freshen up your looks for fewer bucks.
since moving back home i have been considering my own place as the wild child oldest granddaughter who is loved, but ultimately a disappointment against expectations. i don't know what it is to be latina, but i do know a bit about being raised in a restrictive religion that touched seemingly every part of my personhood until i shrugged it off entirely some time ago. and yet, maybe not entirely shrugged off - being surrounded by family, and specifically the men in my family, has me considering the gendered expectations that were ingrained in me. after a month of near constant talking by my dad and brother it was only today that i considered for the first time in my life, "maybe they said i talked too much when i was a kid not because i actually talked too much, or at least not more than them, but that i talked too much for a woman."
i've also been spending time reflecting about the lives my cousins chose, or rather, the life that was to be mine that they didn't fight against and i did. they're not even 30 yet and have 3-5 kids. they home school, and garden and can their crops. they share casserole and party planning tips. they feel so foreign to me and simultaneously so familiar, repeated models of the majority of women i knew growing up. i feel like i need to open myself more to learn the lessons my grandmothers, mother, and aunts have to teach me - but i also think they don't know how to teach those things outside of the framework of maternity.
thanks for writing this - it's going to be swirling through my brain for weeks.
By Sarah Rain on Ask a Fancy Person: Consignment Shops, Gendered Pronouns and Leaving the Forever 21 Zone
Additional advice for L1: you probably don't need to have as many clothes as you think. Rewearing your "best" clothes frequently is better than adding variety with less appropriate pieces (or debt).
My middle school somehow still had home ec, and it was actually one of my favorite classes. For starters, it was clearly a lot more useful than Algebra. (The only part of Algebra I remember caring about was compound interest, which, actually, is the only part of Algebra with any meaning to my adult life.) Sewing buttons & hems, planning and cooking a meal--I still do those things! (Though my college meal plan made my cooking skills really atrophy.)
My family still has a number of the dresses my grandmother made. They've held up well. The styles are classic enough (and I inherited her body type) that I've worn them on special occasions.
give me all your flour-sack dresses!
By JanieS on Mysteries of Adulthood
@shalalas Nobody could tell Jane shit. She only ever did exactly what she wanted/what she thought was right. That her life choices seem questionable to us is entirely beside the point.
Congrats to you/her. As an academic I strive so hard to keep it real and write/teach what I want, not what the random arbiters of power want. Who knows how that will pan out. This article does make me sad that academia excludes so many viable voices (commenters included). That's not why most of us who get into academia go there - but it's easy to end up holding an exclusionary line (see JonnyFoy comment above - oh shove it, you are probably the guy at my curriculum committee meeting holding fast on merit over need-based financial aid too).
anyway, bravo all around and I hope a few of the good people can and do remain in academia, because otherwise it's all jerks shaping the minds of the future and sitting near me in meetings.