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On #Ferguson on Day Five

The last line of the article got to me -- how you would behave, or how white St. Louisans would behave, if they really felt the crowds in Ferguson were kin to them.

Of COURSE they should join the protests! But also: of course they are kin to them -- literally. It makes me so sad that Americans don't think about this more. The vast majority of African-Americans are mixed race -- it's obvious because of how much lighter-skinned they are than people in West Africa -- because of the horrors of slavery they are also descended from the forebears of white Americans. They are literally kin to white Americans! They are our family and we are theirs! There is only an artificial "us" and "them"!

ugh, can't stand people sometimes.

Posted on August 14, 2014 at 10:48 am 0

On Pregnancy, Week by Week

@Bostonienne

Breaking news: people have different experiences of pregnancy! yours is not universal, and I bet your feelings about parenthood will be particular and individual and valid without being universal or universally valid as well!

Posted on August 13, 2014 at 1:09 pm 0

On "It was amazing* being able to wear yoga pants without underwear"

@enic
Well, most yoga pants get a little transparent when they stretch, so a lot of times if ladies in front of me are not wearing underwear with their yoga pants I end up seeing their visible ghostly butt-skin and butt-crack through the pants. And I would really prefer to un-see it! That, and comfort.

So harrumph to the woman quoted in this article who thinks underwear in yoga class is "taboo" -- though not harrumph to you of course, who seem like a very reasonable and genteel person.

Posted on July 8, 2014 at 9:16 am 0

On Commodity Fetish: This Is Not Really What a Feminist Looks Like

Perhaps I betray my age, but I thought a feminist slogan t-shirt was only cool if you made it yourself. Obviously a mass-market t-shirt is pretty inauthentic (in addition to workers' rights issues, although that is probably true of most clothes that you buy). If kids today have really forgotten that and need this article, that is a little depressing.

I was fascinated to hear about this man running a company called "Feminist Apparel," though, and would have loved it to have a bit of a comic profile, to hear more about how he went into the business and how he justifies himself!

Posted on July 8, 2014 at 8:56 am 0

On The Lost Art of Dress: A Conversation with Historian Linda Przybyszewski

It shouldn't be such a radical concept, but it kind of is: I love the idea of dresses that draw attention up to the neckline, and specifically up to the face.

We've gone so far in the other direction of dresses accentuating different bodily shapes & body parts… but,in the working world and on the weekend, too, what I really want to do is draw attention back up to my face. More 30s dress-styles!

Posted on April 30, 2014 at 10:36 am 0

On Spring Fashion Hurdle: The Korean Cockatoo T-Shirt Dress

@Stephanie Dallas@facebook

If she belts it, the belt will cover up the cockatoo! And you won't have the whole "giant t-shirt" drapey look (which is actually in in Berlin right now, as well as apparently in Seoul). Don't do it!

Black tights or ripped black jeans could be a way to go. Or you could dye the t-shirt background to be a light grey -- something to kill the vibe of "this is a white t-shirt," which is really what's doing you in, I think.

Posted on April 30, 2014 at 10:27 am 0

On Talking to Anne Helen Petersen About Leaving Academia for BuzzFeed

@JonnyFoy

Publishing in a trade press can't take the place of also publishing a book peer-reviewed with a university press, but search committees love to see such things there *in addition*!

Either you're not paying attention to AHP's actual credentials and activities in making your comments at random, or you are not familiar with academic hiring practices.

Posted on March 25, 2014 at 6:24 pm 0

On Coming-Out Technology, Exiting the Girlfriend Zone, and the Lesbro Conundrum

@paddlepickle
I agree. Some people want all the attention and use their sexuality to get it, even if they don't actually want to start an affair with the person in question, just the attention, and even if it's destructive to people around them. Heterosexual women, in particular, I think, can be vulnerable to being treated as "just a girlfriend" by other men or women who have a connection with their boyfriend -- different gradations of not in the know, an appendage, etc etc.

When we were dating my husband had a female friend like that -- she liked to whisper things about her sexual escapades in his ear in front of me but just to him, and hug him in a really full-body way, and avoid eye-contact with me. She liked to play with the boundary of what was okay without (she thought) crossing it - she had this idea of being a parisian "bohemian." And he and I are pretty laid-back, we both enjoy having our friends of all genders and are both pretty independent about it, but eventually she crossed the line for us when she invited him to a party but theatrically "forgot" to invite me, and later on criticized me to him in my absence in a way that he felt was not right (he spared me the details). That's the point at which he stopped speaking to her. Jealousy does exist, but so do people like this, and at least a tinge of that seems to be happening in LW3's case.

Posted on March 14, 2014 at 11:35 am 4

On Who We Tell When We Watch Our Parents Die

man, I do not want to die with the Oscars on television as my last evening! Hopefully that was part of their shared family culture that was meaningful for her dad as well as her (and presumably so).

One of the hardest parts about the deathbed vigil for me was at a certain point the dying person isn't strong enough to talk or express wishes, but of course you still want to care for them and make them as comfortable as possible and communicate. It's not always clear how much they can hear. That period lasted more than a day for us. I did lots of pillow-arranging, too, and foot massaging with moisturizer, but also classical music on a constant low volume to keep us company and it really helped. It has a wordless timeless dimension.

Posted on March 14, 2014 at 10:53 am 0

On Rethinking "Men As A General Concept"

That is funny! I name no names, but I know one person there who was hired when he had to leave his previous place of editorial employ because he sexually harassed a subordinate and was fired for it.

Not that the above is a reason to blackball someone forever, but when you have plenty of other good candidates, why not choose another one?

Posted on March 10, 2014 at 5:38 pm 0