@JonnyFoy Gross. She very explicitly says that her pieces here are not the same as the "original scholarly research" she has published in academic journals. Also, you aren't on her dissertation committee nor on any of her academic search committees, so I'm not sure why you're breaking down her "mainstream" writing for us anyway.
But - AHP - with potential coworkers like this guy around I cannot BELIEVE you're stepping away from academia!
@j-i-a Youtube became sentient and hates it even more than we do and caused it to self-destruct.
@SmartCookie I don't know if notifications are working these days, but UPDATE to my earlier post here. Friend #2 mentioned above has filed for divorce. They got married last NYE. So yes, be there for your friend, and while you certainly don't want to sit there and hope that she gets divorced, you can be prepared for the possibility and be ready with the support she'll need if that's what ends up happening.
Also, guys, be proud that when she told me I didn't say "OH THANK GOD YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM BECAUSE HE IS MAYBE A SOCIOPATH AND IS AT THE VERY LEAST KIND OF EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE AND SUPER RACIST AND ALSO HE MADE A RAPE JOKE DURING HIS REHEARSAL DINNER SPEECH I MEAN WHAT?!?!?!" and instead said "Oh, [name], I'm so sorry. What do you need? What can I do?"
@Devushka Judging by the tags, it is that one. Which is the worst. Second place is the moving grand-dad into the house one. Third worst is a tie with all of them.
@stroopwafel It is T&A. Boobs on top and butt on the bottom. Jane, WHY did you design a necklace to be a curvy torso?
@rimy Personality is pretty consistent over the lifetime (well, once you get through those adolescent years, where you move around a bit more). You can move a bit in either direction, but it's unlikely that you'd move dramatically.
That said, do you feel like you are bothered by this because you feel like you SHOULD be warming up faster, or because you actually want to?
I have a coworker who is on a nudge on the introvert side of the spectrum, and she's like the most outgoing person I've ever met, and I don't think she ever had to force herself to be that way. But, we have a lot of human interaction in the job we do, and so she says she expends all of her extroversion energy allotment at work and then feels like she has to stare at a wall most of the rest of her waking time because she is wiped out. It is all about a balance for many people!
@rimy Keep in mind it is a continuum (says person who wrote her dissertation on personality traits)! Sooooooo few people are entirely one or the other, so the Myers-Briggs style label of one of the other is totally misleading. I'm a touch on the "extrovert" side of the scale, but there are definitely weekends that I hole up in my apartment and only talk to my dog or boyfriend. So I'm betting that sometimes you ARE a socially graceful extrovert!
@SmartCookie Yes, equally annoying as ignoring the continuum is assuming that being on one side of it is better than the other. People are getting closer to what those words actually mean (we're at least not conflating introversion and shyness anymore), but there are plenty of outgoing, socially astute people who would be called "introverts" out there. It's just about where you get your energy. It doesn't mean you are incapable of interacting with other humans appropriately!
@frumious bandersnatch Yeah, not fun, though mine tend to be very mild, which I guess is better than it could be!
@SmartCookie Yes. Twice! One is now divorced (and they got divorced very very quickly, which was tough for her but really just great news in the long run because he was the fucking worst), and the other has been married less than a year and they are - by her account - doing just fine.
My unsolicited advice? Grin and bear it. You're right, she's going to need friends to either shake her and/or be there for her when it falls apart. If she's lost friends for this guy already, she knows what people think of him and you're not telling her anything new by chiming in, so you're very unlikely to change her mind.
Totally one of those "understand you can't always stop people from making their own mistakes" things - which sucks and is hard, but is also an adulthood thing.
@frumious bandersnatch At home remedies never do it for me, unfortunately (if they do it for you, I am jealous). I'm a big fan of the pill you can have prescribed instead of the applicator and goo, but if you don't have insurance/good insurance and can't get your trip to a minute clinic or whatever covered to get a pill rx, the goo certainly works.
You are very unlikely to create a drug-resistant strain of super yeast if you let it go another day or two to see if your home remedies are clearing it up, though. It doesn't operate like a bacterial infection. I (Mega TMI) get a few a year and because they are a semi-regular plague on my life I sometimes don't get around to dealing with treating them for a few days, because it is like a chore (like leaving your dry cleaning by the door for 3 days instead of taking it with you the first time). You'll know if it is starting to get worse.
Also - pro-tip - any time I have to go on antibiotics for anything(not often), I also have them prescribe me a YI pill since about 50% of the time, I will get one while on antibiotics. The other 50% of the time, I keep them for when I get one whatever other way I get one.
BEING A WOMAN IS THE BEST.