Personally, I love being able to go out with just my friends and no partners so that we can dish about our relationships. I think that can be really cathartic and important and makes me a better partner. If your friend and her SO are long distance, though, and your friend is hosting her SO for the holidays and probably in charge of driving her around, I wouldn't push the issue. It's hard when you're long distance and only get a limited amount of time to spend together. It's just kind of the rule that you tag along to everything they're doing, because it can get too complicated if you're supposed to hang out at home (possibly with their parents??) while they go out with friends, and then... what, come back to pick you up later?
@hedgehogerie I think you make some very good points, but I disagree with you about never cutting ties with one's parents. Sometimes it's not about using the relationship as a bargaining chip as much as it is protecting yourself and your partner from harm.
Aww! Lovely art on this one.
@emsiela I get where you're coming from, because there are sentiments like that to which I can't relate at all, like, "From the moment I met him/her, I just knew." I'm roughly the same age as you & been dating my bf roughly the same amount of time, and I'm still not 100% sold on marriage. There are people in my life who think I should know by now or be headed down that path, and it's hard to articulate why I'm not ready for that commitment yet. To me marriage is a decision that has serious legal and financial implications, more so than proof that you're really in love with someone. Do you support each other? Do you have productive fights? How do you deal with each other's families? Do you share the same values and vision for where your life is going? Are you friends? Are you on the same page as far as kids, grad school, where you want to live? I'm like 90% of the way there w/ my guy, but I feel like I'm still growing up.
As far as your differences, one thing I've been learning is that our differences can also be what makes us a strong partnership. For example, my bf and I want very different things out of our careers, and it took me a long time to realize that that actually makes us more compatible, not less. There will always be things that aren't perfect. I think the boring stuff like communication and responsibility is more important than the fireworks, personally.
@adorable-eggplant Ooh, I love this thread! I think my bf and I are going to donate to the cat shelter where we got our cat. I already donated to a toy drive for the Leukemia & Lymphona Society and I'd love to donate to a hunger organization if anyone has any recommendations? Especially based in NYC?
@granny squares If I can motivate myself to use up these brown bananas, I miiight make banana bread. Maybe.
Yes, I needed this! Castle Rock is one of my go-to cheap but good wines. I've also been into everything Tussock Jumper lately (they have little animals in sweaters on their labels and are all under $15 and uh, very drinkable).
I'm so happy these are back, they are the best. You're doing a great service here. Congrats on the book!
@hoo:ha Ooh, you've probably seen this but Sandra Bernhard does a super awkward sexy dance to "Little Red Corvette" in her movie Without You I'm Nothing. Link (NSFW! Pasties!). If you haven't already, I'd also recommend checking out Bridget Everett, a cabaret singer who's very sexy but also funny and just kind of her own thing; Adira Amram, who does '80s camel-toe "sexy;" Natasha Leggero's character in Burning Love, and Amy Sedaris as Jerri Blank, who is sex-obsessed but revolting.
ETA: Sorry that list is so white. Now that I'm thinking about it, idk if women of color are permitted to subvert sexiness in the same way.
@Onymous Ooh, I love that theory! Sarah Silverman doesn't seem like the type to me, but hmmmm.