I have soo many thoughts as a former stripper lady where really pole dancing was the only fun part but is so wrapped up in being SEXAY and not just doing cool amazing stuff that I don't know if I can go fully towards No It Is Just Athletic! But so fun?
And yes, generally, if you love it do it anyway because srsly?
But also ("are there any dudes that do pole dancing?"):
I can wear SOME heels for SOME amounts of time, although the only shoes that don't seem to give me pain with my now lots of time on my feet job are clogs. But I also can't wear like ballet flats for any reasonable (say, 8 hour work day) amount of time either. And shoes tend to either end up being uncomfortable or not staying on my feet or both! Why can't doc martens just be professional?
This is an amazing piece, thank you for writing it. There are so very, very many of us inconvenient victims, the ones that our loved ones don't know what to say, that say weird confusing things in response, that hurt a little as they're trying to help. And is why when they see statistics or survey results or whatever go "but surely there can't be THAT MANY victims.." Because they don't ask. Or if they find out, we aren't really the victims they envisioned. We don't count as much. But we're still here, and still deserve better.
On Soap Options
I asked my husband if we could buy all of them, strangely enough he didn't jump on this plan.
Mine was trying to embarrass my brother and he got back spectacularly (and possibly, accidentally) my brother was introducing me to some of his pothead friends, so I tell the hilarious story about when we were teenagers and our property was raided for "suspicious plant growth near the road" (who plants their suspicious plants by the road??) and my brother is being upright citizen and assuring the officers that no marijuana is being grown on this property, and he was so square. So he returns with "So, sister of mine, tell us about how much you hated Requiem for a Dream?" cue AAAGGEEESS of stoner arguments about the film's merits and haven't I totally considered this aspect, maaaan? Good move, bro.
The next is from my husband's family, apparently as children my father-in-law would peel the post-sunburn skin and chase the children around the house saying "Flexible skin is coming for you!!" So then when my sister-in-law was college-age she went on a spring break vacation to Cancun, got horribly burned, then she peeled the skin to tape inside a greeting card with no return address, with only the words "FLEXIBLE SKIN IS COMING FOR YOU!" on the card. and a lot of skin.
There are definitely reasons I married into this family.
Agreed! Especially to me since pagan-y (generally white) folks can totally have heartfelt Winter Solstice and equinox celebrations in peace (especially since most recent pagan identify stuff has been since the 1970s or so, definitely not "oh but this tradition has been in my family for generations!" people) we can leave Kwanzaa alone. Sure, someone's conservative old uncle is going to think it's stupid, but he probably also thinks Ann Coulter makes some great points sooo who cares about him?
good thing everyone realized this was a joke article fashioned on just good ol' common advice and not actual instructions on how to deal with relatives! geeeeezus. Duh, of course you'd confront your obnoxious uncle in any and all circumstances, up to and including when the Bog People attack - they will be mesmerized by his gaping mouth and that gives you the opportunity you need to strike!
On How We Eat
I thought about the prenatal flavor preference thing when a lady I babysat for remembered with fondness when she decided when her baby was about one-years-old she let him eat a tiny bit of chocolate ice cream. Baby's face lit up like magic had just been invented, like "THIS! THIS is why I'm here!"
Although by this reasoning antacids should be my favoritest food ever.
This was an amazing piece. (And cheers to the Hairpin for really producing some astounding content recently!)
The onus always should be on the older person, position of power person to not do this kind of thing - get into these relationships, etc. Of course when one is a teenager, or even just the student, the thought "no no, I'm totally cool with this! It is definitely what I want!" But who is the adult? Who is the one who really knows how this is going to affect this student for the rest of their life/career/etc? They know, they don't care, and they should be the one maligned for it.
Bwa! And god yes, the 'oh noes I'm totally being a cool bride, nooo issues or worries, everything is just great' except until it all crashes down.
Although at my wedding the bouquet holders were uteri (from http://anycornerofheaven.tumblr.com/post/10323825555/uterus-menstrual-cup-cozy-pattern), close enough to vagina pictures, right?