@PomoFrannyGlass Not only that, but he will recognize that you have trained yourself not to feel anything, and he will call you on it constantly. He will see that you have rendered yourself basically incapable of emotional intimacy because of all the bullshit that came before him, and maybe he won't exactly understand, but he will make a point of being absolutely worthy of your trust because he can see what will happen if he isn't. None of your friends will approve because he is so completely unlike anyone you've been with before. He is not "cool" in any sense. They want you going out with another semi-employed hipster d-bag, bro or whatever because those guys fit neatly into your demographic's desires according to The Media. You will begin to wonder if indeed he is wrong for you because he doesn't fit any of the categories you thought you wanted. But he will wear you down with his relentless support, friendship and cuddling. Really, it will be more than you can handle most of the time, but he will keep saying that you deserve it, so OK, you just go with it. Also, this happens in Fall because fall is the perfect time of year to fall in love and transition into watching sappy xmas movies together under a blanket.
@themegnapkin I feel terrible for all the govt employees who were living paycheck-to-paycheck and now don't even have that. Also for the people who genuinely welcome ACA/Medicaid expansion as an answer to their prayers. I'm not religious, but it is really hard for me to understand how radical Reps, many of whom call themselves Evangelical, can justify hurting so many poor and downtrodden people in the name of small government.
Also, my Facebook feed is so packed with ignorant opinions, it is hard to keep ignoring these people.
@farowl I don't see my folks more than a couple times a year, but I think they have filed my tattoos (and my husband's piercings and tattoos) under "things we can't change so why fight about it."
Mr. Blazes and I are trying to buy a condo, and it is TEDIOUS. Other people's decorating choices are so hard to overlook. Warning if you are selling a place in Portland right now: I have been to your open house and I am JUDGING YOU.
On "The sexual narratives we absorb in youth are formidable, formative": What's Your All-Time Most Erotic Book?
@twirl2 YES the Cavebear books. But I was really started down teh romance novel road by the condensed versions to be found in the back of Good Housekeeping and Reader's Digest Condensed books. Both of those sources were sanitized, but they hooked my adolescent brain on the rush of the [predictable] romance novel narrative. It was only a matter of time before I progressed to throbbing members.
On Interview with Filmmaker Izzy Chan: "Have we adjusted our expectations of what a man needs to bring to the table?"
So I haven't finished the article yet, but how do us childrfree folks do statistically? I feel like the trailer imagines a world where caring for the home is synonymous with childrearing. I don't have kids and never will.
I make more money than Mr. Blueblazes. It was roughly double for the past couple years. Now he is unemployed so the ratio is even higher. We can live comfortably on my salary alone.
I KNOW this bothers him. It bothered him when he had a job and it bothers him even more now. For me, it is a non-issue. So far, at least, he is doing a great job on all the housework stuff that I used to do in addition to my paid work. I would have no problem with him staying home and doing laundry/dishes/pet care/projects forever. It is SO NICE to come home from work and know that I don't have to put in the second shift.
I have tried to communicate this, but for him it feels like a failure to "only" take care of the home (and he says so, often). It makes me sad to think that if our positions were reversed, I would know that he doesn't believe that caring for a household is a sufficient contribution. Or, if it is enough of a contribution when when *I* do it but not when *he* does it, he is reinforcing a double standard that I believed my enlightened, feminist husband had moved past.
@Jinxie Don't get me wrong, I love the online life. Because I happen to be in a new city and have basically no IRL female friends within an hour's drive, these comments sections have become my surrogate. I just wonder if something is lost when I feel fulfilled enough by my internet relationships that I don't have a powerful urge to get closer to some of the people I have met locally that have the potential to become IRL female friends if I made the effort. I feel an intense connection with you guys that is hard to replicate outside of the comment sections of Texts From Literary Figures.
@Mae I have a theory, but it is one of those theories that could be a HuffPo "thinkpiece" so please disregard if this sounds like oldperson handwringing nostalgia for a time that never was:
I blame the internet. In my case at least, I am wasting (?) a lot of my time and friendliness on strangers in facebook groups and on pages like this one. I feel just connected enough and safe enough online that I don't have to put myself out there int he real world and try to meet people outside of work.
Don't get me wrong, the Pinners and the Toasties are a huge part of my life day-to-day. But none of them have called me to have a beer and talk out our issues IRL.
LW3 - The other thing is that at 22 and fresh out of college, most people are renegotiating their family relationships anyway. You are not the only person your age in this position, regardless of orientation or anything else.
There are people who have very happy, healthy relationships with their parents, but don't talk multiple times a week. I'm one of them. This has to do with boundaries and expectations. Parents all go through this phase eventually where they have to accept that they aren't your only family anymore. Likely, you have a new family that you've chosen for yourself (friends, partner, whatever). Your parents will have to step aside and accept that they raised a woman who is capable of running her own life without calling them three times a week to ask what kind of dishwashing liquid to buy. Really, that was the point of raising you. :)
@vine fruit PacoBell????? D: