@H.E. Ladypants I knew about this but I know a lot of people to whom it would be super surprising so it's nice that this article is going out. I think most people assume that, because they wouldn't treat a chicken that way (hypothetically, like, if they had their own farm in another life) that no one else would so of course the average chicken is treated fine. I also know a lot of people who are aware that the stuff mentioned in the article happens, but that it's a rare occurrence rather than the standard, who might be surprised to know how common it is. It's not something that's taught in school so you do kind of need to either go out of your way to research it (which means you have to be aware that a problem exists that might need to be looked into) or you need to have friends or family that discuss these things.
@Sea Ermine Also even though I have tons of penetrative sex now/prefer it to non penetrative sex I still do a lot of manual/oral sex so even if you do decide to try it out, don't feel like you need to do it all of the time.
@Sea Ermine Also, I don't do anything kinky so if you were concerned that you'd have to find someone through kink meetups don't worry, lots of vanilla straight guys are fine with skipping p in v if they aren't boring. Although if you do want to attend a kink meetup that's great too.
Your preferences are totally normal!! so, for background, I'm a cis straight lady who has only ever had sex with cis straight guys. and for the first 5-6 years of my sex having life I didn't have p-in-v sex (well, once, somewhere around the 2 year mark just to see, but then never again). it didn't seem that interesting to me so I didn't see the point in trying it out, since there were so many other things to do that I did like. And then after I did try it I found out that I had vaginismus (fun suprise!!) so then I stopped doing it for a few years while I sorted that out.
Anyway, I love it now and it's one of my favorite things to do but it definitely did not negatively affect my sex life while I wasn't doing it. I would just casually let guys know that you don't really like penetrative sex and then give suggestions for things you do like! Also, I'd recommend going to a doctor, pain during sex is not good and even if you aren't planning to try p-in-v you should get checked out in case it points to a bigger health issue (like a cyst or something).
@Sea Ermine Interesting mostly because if the genders were reversed I suspect most of the ratings would be kind of like PUAhate instead of #epicsmile
@cee I completely agree with you, but one thing I find interesting is that I read somewhere that ex girlfriends have been giving higher ratings (I think an average of 7 or 8) than other people, and that most of the reviews have been positive. It's still a gross app but I found that interesting.
@jinsher Most of the articles I've read about it have been complaining about how it is sexist and objectifying. I think the reason it's been getting a more positive response than a similar app for women is because so far the vast majority of the ratings have been positive (which is probably why half a million men requested feedback).
@Lila Fowler Maybe she's talking about Soi Ari?
@Sea Ermine Just want to clarify that I don't think Jessica was suggesting they were the same as cross dressers, just that I think she hasn't spent enough time there or around Thai friends to get a bigger picture of what being katoey is.
@Gene So I am not thai and I am not kathoey but I did live in Bangkok for a number of years and I'd say that she's using it incorrectly in this context, but mostly because the English language doesn't really have a word for this.
In Thai there is a third pronoun that is used to refer to kathoey. If you're speaking in English generally the polite thing to do is to use the pronoun that the person prefers. If you don't know, or if you are speaking generally it's polite to use the female pronoun if it matches the way they present themselves, much as you might do when speaking about transwomen in the US.
Based on my experiences, and what my Thai friends told me it wouldn't really be polite to consider katoeys the same as cis men who happen to dress like women while identifying as male, unless you knew that that's how that person identified. I mean that's a thing that happens, just as there are also many many katoey who under go sex changes and identify as female, and many who don't but identify as female anyway and all of those people may still be called katoey. And individual people who are considered kathoey may identify as male or female or as a third gender (the last two are probably more common, especially the last one). But it's not really the same concept as an American cis man who presents and lives as a woman and I think Jessica's explanation presented a very narrow view of what katoey are and I don't really feel like the term 'cis' would be correct here.
I mention all this because I think it's common in Western media for katoey to be presented as cross dressers or "chicks with dicks" when it's much more complicated than that and many (but not all) kathoey identify as female or as a third gender, rather than male.
I hope I didn't make things more complicated, it's super hard to explain since it's a word and a concept that doesn't exist in the US or in the English language.