@LilRedCorvette @everybody--thank you so much! I'm so glad to have the Hairpin to hang out on in times like these. <3 We had a sort-of talk; I'm still too much of a coward to say that he hasn't been supportive during this whole thing, because it will be a total sh!tstorm, but I did say that I was unable to support him in my current state the way I have been and that I was concerned that we could not support each other while we are both depressed (really, I am such a coward). He agreed with me. But he said he'll call his workplace's free counseling center, and I emailed the psychiatrist who runs my PPD support group to ask her about whether there are free PPD resources for fathers as well, because he said he'd do it if it was free. I suspect not, but it's worth a try. I should have gone out and called a helpline, but I waited too long, and just as I was about to, this freezing rain came up. I'll try tomorrow. I'm self-medicating with soda water and Call the Midwife (though I'm fast-forwarding through the sad parts).
Anyway, thanks again!
@cabber Oh yes, I'd love to do that, and I just sent a note to my childhood BFF asking her if she can join me on Skype (for a typed, not spoken, session). The problem is that most of our (his and my) other friends are friends with both of us, and I don't want to put them in an awkward position. But I will definitely hang out here--I love this place! @adorable-eggplant--thanks for those links; I'm actually in Canada but should definitely call SOMEBODY. I'm in treatment for PPD at the hospital where I gave birth, so I'll see if I can call them. I don't want to do it in front of my husband, who will just hear me talking about him and be all accusatory about how can I put pressure on him because he's DEPRESSED (I already told him that I never want to hear again about how he hates this country because hearing it over and over and over again every day is sending me over the edge), but maybe I'll go for a walk later with the baby and call them then.
@siniichulok I sat here sobbing and rocking back and forth just now like a madwoman (which I never do) and he watched me impassively and offered me lunch and tea and then went off by himself when I declined. I think we are actually in a Bergman movie or something.
HALP I have postpartum depression and my husband refuses to support me emotionally because he is perpetually depressed, and our batshit neighbor has been threatening us and now management is doing an inspection because said batshit neighbor claims we have no area rugs in our bedroom and are zooming around and throwing things and moving furniture like poltergeists all night when we are in fact fast asleep. She hasn't complained about the baby, which I think is proof that she's not really hearing US because I'm sure she would be all over that crying baby idea if she could. Meanwhile I sort of want to hurl myself off the balcony, not that I will really do that (I won't!)....Anyway, how are y'all's Fridays going?
@siniichulok Also, OK, believing you were meant to be served is perhaps not the greatest, but why would it be better to serve others instead? I don't think that is the healthiest quality in a role model either.
This list reminds me of this lit-crit book I read about romance in the L. M. Montgomery novels--the author clearly thought that any time a heroine marries or has kids or gets accepted into a community, it's a sellout, and that the only proper way to be a feminist is creating High Art in total isolation on a clifftop somewhere.
I also can't stand the His Dark Materials books (kinda racist to the kinda Tatar in me, among other things) or Madeline L'Engle books. I tried.
@Poubelle Same here vis-a-vis sad kid with fantasy. I always thought the point of Eloise was that she's gloriously socially inappropriate and unfeminine in the stereotypical sense. I kind of understood the whole thing as poking fun at the one-percenters of the 1950's even if it's from the inside, as well as making fun of gender norms.
@sherbet You're not ruffling MY feathers! Emily is my favorite. I will always love Anne, but she's so bubbly that I can't relate to her as much.
@Mosey If you happen to be in Toronto, there's a place called Secrets From Your Sister that is good for that. The bras are expensive, but the saleswomen are helpful and don't ever seem to mind if you are there for two hours trying to choose two out of four bras. I was a 32.5 F before getting pregnant (now 32.5...G? H?), and I've never gotten a granny-style bra there--ONLY sexy-yet-functional ones. No padding or "light lining" either, though they carry them. I even got a "t-shirt bra" (Chantelle Pearl, sadly not made anymore) that didn't have lining! I've also heard of a store in Toronto called Nearly Naked that is supposed to be better (as in more variety and cheaper) than SFYS, but I've never been there. The other good thing about these fancy bra-fitting places is that once you buy a couple in your preferred brands (so those nice people who helped can get a commission) is that you can then buy more of the same for vastly lower prices online.
@lemonadefish Daim bars!! Once they had this three-Daim-cakes-for-the-price-of-two at the local Ikea, and my housemate and husband and I all went and got one each, and then we had one cake per person for dessert. We couldn't finish them, not even close (it took us a whole bunch of sessions), but it was awfully fun just sitting there with a whole Daim cake and a fork.