@polka dots vs stripes Yup.
@Jinxie Absolutely, I agree. I think that's a good attitude from your ex! x
@Sarah Rain oh yes, I agree, a certain amount of unsolicited advice is definitely called for if a friend is hurting themselves. I value the fact that my friends can say to me 'seriously, you're being an idiot and you're hurting yourself!' and wont just tell me what I want to hear :-) I think I was more referring to the 'ex' or whatever, actually saying 'I'm going to stop calling you and talking to you because it's what you need, to get over me'. Fair enough cut off contact if *you* don't want to talk to me or see me, but don't dress it up in 'it's what's best for you' - you don't know what I need or is best for me. You know?
@Sarah Rain I have to confess I was thinking this - it drives me batty when someone has that 'I know what's best for you' attitude. It's for ME to decide whether it's best for me to be cut off from you or not! But then, on the other hand, in hindsight it *was* the best decision when someone cut me off, even though I would never have done it myself .... So maybe don't listen to me!? (what I'm saying is, I do hear you!)
@redheaded&crazie There may have been a tiny, weeny moment of painful recognition from my side also. In most areas of my life I am very sane, fabulous, normal individual .... most ....
@M. A. Peel You know what, as someone who was dropped, out of the blue (from my point of view) about a year ago by someone I thought was a very, very close friend ...it's okay. As much as I was hurt to start with, and went through quite a bit of soul searching and also felt embarrassed and humiliated that I was such a failure as a human being that someone couldn't bear to be around me any more, I'm actually totally fine! It would have been good if she'd spoken to me about what was bothering her and given me (us!) a chance to work it out (which maybe would have been the adult thing to do!), but failing that, I'm kind of grateful for the fact she did it cold turkey: I think I would have found it much, much more difficult if she had started to 'phase me out' or just drift away. I would have spent months desperately trying to pull her back (yeah, I would be that girl!). Of course, I'd rather she hadn't got to a point where she wants to cut me out of my life, but I also don't want to be in a friendship where that friend is just tolerating me - I'm worth more than that!
So, I guess what I'm trying to say in a long rambling way is .... sure, you probably hurt her (her?) when you cut her out, but you can let go of the guilt - it's okay!! She's probably fine now and is moving on! x
(why do I lose all powers of articulation when I post on here?! I may be intimidated by all the other fantastically articulated comments!!!)
@insouciantlover Totally - and once I realised it was unhealthy, things moved fairly fast (although painfully). It's tough doing the unpicking, isn't it? Therapy was a godsend :-) Now I'm finally learning to find emotionally available people attractive ... slowly but surely! (Totally looking up the neuroscience that says therapy can change neuro pathways!)
@vanillawaif Oh yes! Totally have a crush on Gibbs :-)
@insouciantlover I hear you! I have recently got distance from my 'your pathologies fit together' person after 4 years ... feels like I've lost an arm, but I'm slowly and painfully growing a new one (okay, slightly awkward analogy!)
Oh my. I would very much like the gentlemen in the video to come and make my bed! :-) Do they do house calls?!