I am SO GLAD that The Hairpin is keeping us informed about jellyfish developments.
By which I mean
On The Fur Pie
See, I would totally have filed this under Mother Fucking NATURE.
Mother Fucking Nature gave me all that hair and it's a pain in the ass to remove so fuck it all and let it grow.
(I was just thinking about it this morning, actually, when considering whether I wanted to take the time to shave my legs, as I loathe the way stubble catches on my pants or tights. And I raised a fist to curse at the sixth graders who bullied me into shaving my legs that June, so that now i can't stop shaving without dealing with stubble. I didn't wear shorts or skirts that showed my knees for a decade because I was so ashamed of my mannishly hairy thighs, thanks to kids at the YMCA pool the next year not letting me swim because of it. I was 12 with thick hair on my upper thighs, so that you couldn't tell where the fine leg hair ended and the wiry pubic hair began. Now I don't give a fuck. I'm clean and nothing works to remove the hair without painful stubble within hours. If you don't like it, don't look.)
OH MY GOD THAT IS HORRIFYING.
So horrifying that I was compelled to spell out omg and do it all in caps instead of being lazy. Like, I had an idea that mostly dead + pregnant = bad news for fetus (can it even grow independently, since it's basically completely tied to the mother's body at this point, like a parasite?), but to ALSO cost $4K PER DAY that the state isn't going to pick up, even though they're the ones forcing the hospital to keep the body on a ventilator and such... I would be shocked if the insurance company picked up the tab, too.
And then to know that if the fetus grows long enough to become viable, it's most likely going to be super damaged from this... Isn't 20 weeks the cut-off for those super restrictive laws that are trying to undermine Roe v. Wade?
who is that on the top left because i think there's something wrong with his face.
(by which i mean the photoshopping is as bad as the ladies', but in a different way)
Oh, damn. I said pretty much the same thing before scrolling down and seeing your comment. The headline totally tricked me into expecting a funny article in the old 'Pin style, instead of this. :( I didn't want to be the only one to comment on that, though.
I thought the same thing. But then I realized that it's because I expected the post to be a humor one, not an honest "These are lessons you may not have learned, but which are important". The headline was too Cracked/Buzzfeed.
Still not happy about how it feels kind of victim blamey, but I think it's difficult to say "here are things you can do for your personal safety, because there are assholes out there who may try to hurt you" and not have an element of victim blaming going on, even though it's meant more as trying to take steps to protect from the unpredictable? IDEK, it's hard for me, at least. The semi-serious semi-laughing tone of this article didn't help any.
I think it's the tone of the piece (the narrative bits not the quotes, though the way the quotes are arranged too) and the fact that I JUST heard a very sincere and absurd piece on the topic on some NPR/PRI program where these little narratives seem like intentional exaggerations.
When I was driving through Orlando this weekend, I heard the tail end of a program (ETA: on the NPR station) which had a woman talking about people doing this and then applying it to the way we use social media, so I'm going with satire. Even if it is verbatim.
Okay, what Bergie said up there about making up with your former BFF just because you want a Maid of Honor. That's not fair to either of you.
However, can I ask, do you need a Maid of Honor? What's up with the wedding? How involved and formal is it going to get? Now, I'm one of those people who looks at fancy weddings and the budget getting bigger and bigger and the stress going crazy and think "to hell with it all", so maybe I just don't understand. But I hear all the time about how stressful the whole thing is and how the bridesmaids get resentful or don't cooperate or maybe the bride expects way too much or brings in people who don't get along to be her bridesmaids...and on and on.
So I'm kind of thinking why bother? If you don't really need a maid of honor, and you're not sure about making up with your former BFF anyway, then do away with the role. Put a sister or future sister-in-law or cousin up there as a representative of the family. Ask your other friends to be joint members of the planning/helping committee with distinct areas of expertise (since I gather that's one of the main reasons for wanting a maid of honor? I don't even understand having a row of women at the front of the ceremony, like I know it's traditional and formal, but I don't know why, since we're not royalty (I assume), so these aren't your ladies-in-waiting there to carry your train and see to your every need.)
Also, I'm totally down with using the money you'd spend on the wedding to go on a kick-ass honeymoon vacation instead, or to put into renovating/buying your house. That would do away with a lot of the formality that requires a maid of honor, anyway.