Let's be best friends!

On Hugette Clark's Collections

Thank FUCK the "doll news" tag is back!

Posted on October 2, 2014 at 4:10 pm 1

On Please Welcome Jazmine Hughes, The Hairpin's New Contributing Editor

Feeling good about this, guys. Feeling real good.

Posted on September 1, 2014 at 12:36 pm 0

On X-Files Red, Not Lohan Red: A Haircut Trauma

Doing hair is a profession where you get to be the absent star of various anecdotes all the time! It's like being famous, except people are writing reviews of your appearance and personality and implying that you're an idiot, rather than just cracking on your shitty beach body.
I got into the industry knowing that the talking part was going to be a bit uphill for me, because I'm naturally fairly quiet with people I don't know well, but this shit here is actually much more difficult. It's probably because I favor Taylor Dane, John Leguizamo, Dimetapp, and Big Bird, you know, physically, and am beneath contempt, but I actually don't enjoy it when clients openly flinch and roll their eyes when asked "Did you want any shorter angles around the face?" or, "When was the last time you had it cut?" Or even, "What does two inches look like to you?" because, again, WEIRDLY, the people who show up in my chair acting disgusted and upset by the experience are also the ones likely to start sobbing after a light trim, because I have taken a millimeter too much of their precious split ends.
I have my own little foibles, as a consumer of goods and services, and I can't claim to be the ideal customer in all situations, but the whole premise of this piece is pretty gross. It's a couple steps above detailing the hilarious ways you trashed a hotel room to fuck with the maids.

Posted on June 19, 2014 at 7:31 pm 1

On Signs I Want You To Leave My House After I've Hosted You for Dinner

I don't understand why people come to my house in the first damn place. I hate it when guests linger beyond social cues and common decency.

Posted on March 20, 2014 at 5:35 pm 1

On Friday Open Thread

@Miss Maszkerádi Don't bang dudes who won't wear condoms, whether you're on the pill or not. Condoms work fine. Read up on proper usage. Don't open the packs with your teeth.
Some birth control pills affected me pretty badly, but I had good experiences with the Nuvaring.
Casual sex with a nice partner that wasn't of the random hookup variety was always tougher for me than just (at least nominally) dating towards relationships.

Posted on February 28, 2014 at 8:23 pm 0

On Our Clif Bars, Ourselves

You can pry 'em out of my cold, dead, moderately nourished hands, snot rockets!

Posted on February 20, 2014 at 9:23 pm 2

On Friday Open Thread

I did a focus group and got paid with a $100 credit card gift card that expires 90 days from date of issue. I've already spent $26 on bullshit from the drug store. How should I spend my remaining stupid non-money??

Posted on February 14, 2014 at 4:21 pm 0

On "Where I live in East Baltimore, everything looks like 'The Wire' and nobody cares what a selfie is"

Well, at least it looks like he's on the 8 bus line. (Baltimore transit humor, everybody!) My life in this town is very different from the writer's, but I relate to the picture he paints of a lot of people struggling hard for not much, but still finding their pleasure where they can.

Posted on February 5, 2014 at 12:45 pm 0

On Friday Open Thread

I bought 64 oz if cheese for like $2 because a work distributor was having a big sake. What am I gonna do with all that cheese???
I also told the world I am pregnant, and now I kind of want to un-tell it, because ugh nothing is anyone's business! But I figured it would eventually become apparent anyway.

Posted on January 31, 2014 at 8:51 pm 0

On 20 Songs by Women that Will Turn 20 in 2014

I think I spent a lot of 1994 really earnestly watching MTv, as if it could redeem my inherent dorkiness, so it makes sense that I know so many of these by heart.

Posted on January 29, 2014 at 5:36 pm 1