Iron Maiden, Hallowe'en, baby animals. These are a few of my favorite things. METAPHORICALLY.
Billy Collins is the Jeff Koons of poetry and this delights me. I startled my dog from laughing so hard.
if there's no other reason for me to celebrate growing up at this exact moment in history (as opposed to the 80s when everyone was rich or the future when maybe racism is gone), it is so that i can read things like this.
@tulliola That first paragraph is legit. I have yet to encounter someone who hates figurative use of "literally" and has a degree in linguistics. Whenever I encounter said hand-wringing, I'm so tempted to ask if the person in question uses awful to mean inspiring wonder or egregious to describe something remarkably good. And I suppose we'd have to assume that every "guy" said person refers to is someone of a horrible appearance.
It's called a semantic shift, and it happens all the time! There are plenty of words that mean one thing and that thing's opposite (cleave comes to mind).
From the American Heritage Dictionary’s usage notes:
"For more than a hundred years, critics have remarked on the incoherency of using literally in a way that suggests the exact opposite of its primary sense of “in a manner that accords with the literal sense of the words.” In 1926, for example, H.W. Fowler cited the example "The 300,000 Unionists … will be literally thrown to the wolves." The practice does not stem from a change in the meaning of literally itself—if it did, the word would long since have come to mean “virtually” or “figuratively”—but from a natural tendency to use the word as a general intensive, as in They had literally no help from the government on the project, where no contrast with the figurative sense of the words is intended."
I feel very passionately about acceptance of language evolution.
@This is my new username How positive do you think "you must not have sex" really is, though? Everyone's experience is different, even in our own little segmented groups. I'm religious and went to a religious college, but I was the only one of my friends who waited until I was married to have sex. Even then, for me, it was not a difficult transition in terms of swapping "not okay" for "okay." Now, the logistics? Awkies. But it's been seven years and I am proud of my bangin' sex life.
Heads up LW#1, if you're the type who waited for marriage, I assume you're the type not to get divorced due to sexual inexperience/incompatibility. Y'all have a long time to figure this out. A year and a half doesn't mean you have to have all of your sexual interests and skills down to a fine science, and there is some great advice here.
I love this because it's very hard to write about this kind of topic without being condescending ("Oh these poor, naive, unenlightened women!") and you totally nailed it. Edit: best accidental pun ever.
Also, for what it's worth, I saved my v-card for marriage and it was for deeply religious reasons :)
On Ask Santa
Well, in Whoville they say - that Hobbes' small heart grew three sizes that day.
@The Kendragon IF ONLY.
@The Kendragon Are you my older sister? Because I had that exact experience and my sister still laughs until she cries when we talk about it.
This is a beautiful account of a very ugly experience, and I'm glad that you were surrounded by kind people (& that your baby is still perfect :D)
I''m child free, but this reminds me of the first night my sister was home from the hospital with her son. Other family members had gone home, and by around midnight, my husband and I had to leave (we had work the next morning). She burst into tears and gave us a litany of things she was afraid of (most of them SIDS related), begging us to stay.
I think this piece might frighten her a little (baby guy is only 3 months old), but it's an important lesson, and you've presented it as gently as it can be done.