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StandardTuber

StandardTuber

I tweet at https://twitter.com/StandardTuber and blog at http://steelwoolens.blogspot.com - check it out!

On Female New York Post Writer Feels Differently Than Other Women

"Hey Baby; nice shirt!"
"Yeah, Baby! Where'd you get it?"
"Was it on sale? At Babys R Us?"
[drooling][the baby can't reply because it's a baby]
"See you later, Baby."

Posted on August 19, 2014 at 1:54 pm 0

On A Brief Interlude for *Dunks*

Yeeeeeaaaaah!

Posted on April 1, 2014 at 4:37 pm 0

On An Important Internet Classic: 10 Pranks That Will Spice Up Your Relationship

Bake his favorite batch of cookies using baking soda instead of baking powder, and when he gags in disgust tell him "Your mother gave me the recipe!"

Posted on April 1, 2014 at 3:25 pm 1

On An Important Internet Classic: 10 Pranks That Will Spice Up Your Relationship

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)
"I thought there was steak?"
"Why would you think that? Cause you're a man?"
"What?"
"WHAT?"
"I thought there was steak..."

Posted on April 1, 2014 at 2:41 pm 3

On An Important Internet Classic: 10 Pranks That Will Spice Up Your Relationship

@Caity Remember to mime putting the ice cubes in the cup and make the *clink* sound to complete the joke!

Posted on April 1, 2014 at 2:39 pm 2

On An Important Internet Classic: 10 Pranks That Will Spice Up Your Relationship

Tell him you're not feeling well and ask that he take your temperature and when he's not looking dip the thermometer into your hot cup of coffee. He'll have a big surprise when he comes back to check your temp!

Posted on April 1, 2014 at 2:36 pm 3

On An Important Internet Classic: 10 Pranks That Will Spice Up Your Relationship

Replace your lipstick with dirt and go in for a kiss!

Posted on April 1, 2014 at 2:35 pm 3

On An Important Internet Classic: 10 Pranks That Will Spice Up Your Relationship

When he asks you to read him a story for bedtime [this imaginary fool boyfriend that we're playing games with sounds like he'd need a bedtime story] put a scary book like The Dahmer Files or It inside of his storybook and laugh and laugh while he wonders "Wha Hapn'd?"

Posted on April 1, 2014 at 2:33 pm 3

On An Important Internet Classic: 10 Pranks That Will Spice Up Your Relationship

Order a pizza for dinner but before he sees the pizza take it out and replace it with pieces of bread. He'll open the box and have a sad, but you'll be there to cheer him up!

Oh, I am going to be thinking about this stuff all day....

Posted on April 1, 2014 at 2:28 pm 4

On How To Do Pull-Ups

This was terrific, and the quote from Olivia about what she's afraid of, that made me teary-eyed out of familiarity. And hell yes the story about women and strength needs to change. That is a friggin mantra right there.

I think pushing our bodies is an excellent allegory for understanding our very existence. I think that's why so many people get hung up on stories of what their bodies have gone through, it's how we mark time and mark passages into new phases of life.

Posted on March 28, 2014 at 2:29 pm 1