I tweet at https://twitter.com/StandardTuber and blog at http://steelwoolens.blogspot.com - check it out!
@Jazmine Hughes DONE!
I am trying to think of stuff to write for this version of The Hairpin. What about Mansplaining The News, where we look at the most obvious headlines/lead-ins from news-oriented Twitter feeds like this one?
@Choire Sicha@facebook also, like the last movie Julia Roberts really "acted" in, instead of "I'm Julia Roberts reading the part of Jules."
"See, when you sublimate your rage SO MUCH that it ultimately becomes unknown to you, you start to believe the harassment is good for you. It's like a vitamin! It tastes gross, and you're not really sure why you have to take it, but you just know you should!"
"Hey Baby; nice shirt!"
"Yeah, Baby! Where'd you get it?"
"Was it on sale? At Babys R Us?"
[drooling][the baby can't reply because it's a baby]
"See you later, Baby."
Bake his favorite batch of cookies using baking soda instead of baking powder, and when he gags in disgust tell him "Your mother gave me the recipe!"
@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)
"I thought there was steak?"
"Why would you think that? Cause you're a man?"
"I thought there was steak..."
@Caity Remember to mime putting the ice cubes in the cup and make the *clink* sound to complete the joke!
Tell him you're not feeling well and ask that he take your temperature and when he's not looking dip the thermometer into your hot cup of coffee. He'll have a big surprise when he comes back to check your temp!