I tweet at https://twitter.com/StandardTuber and blog at http://steelwoolens.blogspot.com - check it out!
@Choire Sicha@facebook also, like the last movie Julia Roberts really "acted" in, instead of "I'm Julia Roberts reading the part of Jules."
"See, when you sublimate your rage SO MUCH that it ultimately becomes unknown to you, you start to believe the harassment is good for you. It's like a vitamin! It tastes gross, and you're not really sure why you have to take it, but you just know you should!"
"Hey Baby; nice shirt!"
"Yeah, Baby! Where'd you get it?"
"Was it on sale? At Babys R Us?"
[drooling][the baby can't reply because it's a baby]
"See you later, Baby."
Bake his favorite batch of cookies using baking soda instead of baking powder, and when he gags in disgust tell him "Your mother gave me the recipe!"
@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)
"I thought there was steak?"
"Why would you think that? Cause you're a man?"
"I thought there was steak..."
@Caity Remember to mime putting the ice cubes in the cup and make the *clink* sound to complete the joke!
Tell him you're not feeling well and ask that he take your temperature and when he's not looking dip the thermometer into your hot cup of coffee. He'll have a big surprise when he comes back to check your temp!
Replace your lipstick with dirt and go in for a kiss!
When he asks you to read him a story for bedtime [this imaginary fool boyfriend that we're playing games with sounds like he'd need a bedtime story] put a scary book like The Dahmer Files or It inside of his storybook and laugh and laugh while he wonders "Wha Hapn'd?"