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Bake his favorite batch of cookies using baking soda instead of baking powder, and when he gags in disgust tell him "Your mother gave me the recipe!"
@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)
"I thought there was steak?"
"Why would you think that? Cause you're a man?"
"I thought there was steak..."
@Caity Remember to mime putting the ice cubes in the cup and make the *clink* sound to complete the joke!
Tell him you're not feeling well and ask that he take your temperature and when he's not looking dip the thermometer into your hot cup of coffee. He'll have a big surprise when he comes back to check your temp!
Replace your lipstick with dirt and go in for a kiss!
When he asks you to read him a story for bedtime [this imaginary fool boyfriend that we're playing games with sounds like he'd need a bedtime story] put a scary book like The Dahmer Files or It inside of his storybook and laugh and laugh while he wonders "Wha Hapn'd?"
Order a pizza for dinner but before he sees the pizza take it out and replace it with pieces of bread. He'll open the box and have a sad, but you'll be there to cheer him up!
Oh, I am going to be thinking about this stuff all day....
This was terrific, and the quote from Olivia about what she's afraid of, that made me teary-eyed out of familiarity. And hell yes the story about women and strength needs to change. That is a friggin mantra right there.
I think pushing our bodies is an excellent allegory for understanding our very existence. I think that's why so many people get hung up on stories of what their bodies have gone through, it's how we mark time and mark passages into new phases of life.