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On The Mother's Kiss

My mom definitely used to do this, but as a last resort if I couldn't expel the object (usually an M&M that was purposely lodged there) on my own.

And when I had something stuck in my eye, she'd pry my eyelid open and blow quickly/sharply onto the eyeball once or twice.

Posted on October 24, 2012 at 10:29 am 0

On Stay-at-Home Dads and the Confrontation-Averse

LW#1, instead of giving your husband an "I'm Proud of You" card, give his mother a "STFU and Take a Seat" card. Preferably with a basket of kittens on the front.

Posted on October 19, 2012 at 2:55 pm 9

On Photographing Marines

@Inkling It's very poor form to presume that these soldiers are rapists and murderers. I would expect better from a magical Pegasus pony.

Posted on October 18, 2012 at 10:36 am 12

On So You Stole a Painting

If you're a shady rich collector who buys highly-publicized stolen art, do you just get off on viewing your Picasso in secret, or do you share it only with a cadre of similarly rich buyers of stolen art? Is there a meetup for that?

Posted on October 17, 2012 at 2:12 pm 1

On Sitting and Smoking

Now I kind of want to die watching Eurovision 2068 with a Marlboro Red in each hand.

Posted on October 17, 2012 at 10:21 am 10

On Unforgiven

@Nicole Cliffe But Paul Ryan can't be racist! He once hooked up with a black girl in college!

Posted on August 31, 2012 at 1:03 pm 0

On Make Your Own Sigil

My family crest would be a passive-aggressive Post-It note on a field of Shame Green, flanked by the Classical personifications of Catholic Guilt and Sibling Rivalry. Motto reading "You Could've Called, You Know."

Posted on August 31, 2012 at 10:14 am 3

On The YOLO Champion of the World

@jen325 One life for yourself and one for your dreeeeeeams

Posted on August 29, 2012 at 10:16 am 3

On The YOLO Champion of the World

@Daisy Razor Pure laziness and stubbornness--the people who heard the original native word pronounced "gooey duck" misspelled it and couldn't be bothered to find a more correct spelling. True story.

Posted on August 29, 2012 at 10:14 am 0

On The YOLO Champion of the World

@Emby It's really the nails that do it.

Posted on August 29, 2012 at 9:27 am 6