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On Ask a Clean Person: Fragrant Shoe Season Arrives Early

Here is something that I created for my boxing gloves that I bet would work smashingly on file cabinet dwelling sneakers: make your own odor-absorbing sachet bags. I bought a bag of organic 100% pine kitty litter, measured out a few cups worth into a bowl, then sprinkled it liberally with tea tree, rosemary and peppermint essential oil. (Tea tree oil is bacteria-killing, odor-destroying awesomeness and the rosemary and peppermint help as well.) I stirred the crap out of it, then split it equally between two cotton bags I had sewed, but I bet a person could just use a clean pair of socks. Sew or safety pin the bags shut and et voila! Stuff 'em in your shoes when you take them off and the kitty litter will absorb the sweat, while the essential oils battle the stink.
Trust me on this...boxing gloves are notoriously hard to dry out, being that they're giant leather bags, essentially. Mine made my hands and forearms REEK, but since I started using the sachets there's been no smell, no problem! (well, one sparring partner DID mention that I smelled a bit like a Christmas tree, but the smell has mellowed by now and I'll take that over sweat stench any day.)

Posted on April 19, 2012 at 1:59 pm 4

On Friday Open Thread

So I am a high school color guard/winter guard coach (for those baffled, think the flags with the marching band, but SO not the boring stuff you see in parades. It's dance, flag, rifle, saber, performance, puppies, rainbows, unicorns, etc!). Anyway, the end of the winter season is upon us and State Championships are tomorrow. I've been doing this for years, but this is the first time my team has been ranked so well, and by well, I mean ranked first. In the state. (Um, but not by much, so no cake walk or anything...) You guys, I'm so nervous for tomorrow the butterflies in my stomach can't keep their food down! I've done all I can, choreography and skill-wise and now it's all in the team's hands. It's all in their slightly chaotic, possibly freaked out, definitely hormonal teenage hands and I am DYING over here. That's it, the end. Imma go hurl or something...

Posted on April 6, 2012 at 5:47 pm 1

On Ask a Clean Person: Get Rid of Your Coworkers, Seriously, They Are Revolting

@buttercup empire Oh Christ on a cracker, do NOT get me started on the rampant grossness that is your average retail customer. After years of working on the make it pretty side of retail (visual merchandising) I lost my cushy traveling job (damn you economy!) and found myself an assistant store manager, AKA salaried custodian. I've cleaned up poop, vomit, jizz, more poop and then, just to make it interesting, even more poop found in one of our handbags. Hanging on the rack.
Sigh.

Posted on March 16, 2012 at 12:53 am 0

On Ask an Indelicate Question: How Are You Doing It Every 28 Days or So?

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I have never even tried period sex. Honestly didn't even know that people did it for the longest time, but I've always been a gusher, so I assumed that no one would ever want to clean up that kind of mess. It's never really bothered me to wait a week or so, and the hubs is fine with a return to the good ol' days of hand and blow jobs.

Posted on March 8, 2012 at 12:54 pm 1

On Ask a Clean Person: The Uncluttering

Oh, how I HATE making our bed. Like hate with the heat of a thousand burning suns hate. We've got this monster of a California King and it's this all wood monstrosity with drawers underneath, a fancy scrolled footboard and the mattress just sits inside a wood box (like a waterbed frame?). It's horrible, sexytimes are a pain the butt (literally, you can't do anything involving being on the edge of the bed due to the wood frame) I bruise myself constantly on the footboard (I just walk right into the damn thing All. The. Time.) and the worst thing is that I can't do my beloved hospital corners on the sheet and blanket b/c I have to physically lift the damn mattress out of the stupid box, which is HEAVY. I swear, my dude would get SOMUCHMORE sexytime if he would buy me a new bedrame. Maybe I should mention that tonight...

Posted on February 23, 2012 at 2:12 pm 2

On Draw a Picture, It'll Last Longer

Posted on February 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm 0