@hucklecat Seconded! I'm making these for the second time because they turned out SO GOOD last weekend. Excited to try the egg substitution this time so that other family members can eat them (..though I'm reluctant to share).
I was worried because the pictures look a little cakey, and I'm usually strongly against brownies on the cakey end of the spectrum, but these were so rich and moist that it didn't matter.
@Diana I'm sorry for being such a slow replier! I had to take a break from immersing myself in it, it's draining. Thank you for your comment. It's hard to accept, but very encouraging to hear from someone in a similar situation. Of course a large part of me fears that you might be right.
You and @roadtrips are giving me a couple of potential paths: I could focus on appreciating the small gestures that my boyfriend makes to show love (though I've been trying to do so for years, honestly - almost nightly, I come up with some small thing to thank him for, since any relationship self help book will say that cultivating gratitude is healthy), and give him credit for being well-intended; or I could start afresh, with the understanding that any new relationship would present different but ideally less lonely hurdles.
I do accept that my boyfriend loves me (this takes a while to register with someone who isn't expressive), but to some degree I pity him because he is inept at communicating emotions and gets frustrated when I try to talk about these things.
In any case, thank you so much for taking the time to weigh in - you've given me a lot to think about. It is so sweet to have strangers offering their brains and experiences to help me.
@werewolfbarmitzvah - I don't BELIEVE he's on the autism spectrum, but I'll try to read up on it a little bit. Thanks for the suggestion!
Thank you so much for all of the feedback, I was touched. You're right, the term grimace did make it sound like a terrible situation (I was at a mental low that day about it), and I'm grateful for the support in both directions. It's reassuring to hear from people who are in relationships where the affection dynamic is uneven who have figured out a way to be happy with it, and also reassuring to hear that I could theoretically meet somebody else with the decency to pick me up in the rain but also to kiss me hello.
Writing the letter was cathartic and allowed me to stop thinking about it, and the interim has been better. He's made an effort to spoon a couple of times since then, and after four years, I will of course put thought into it before making any drastic changes.
I hope I don't sound like a moron who cohabited too casually! I've known all along that I don't plan to get married, but a roommate situation seemed reasonable after being together for 2.5 years.
I guess it's always hard to gauge what's normal in relationships. I used to pride myself on spending plenty of time apart from my boyfriend - it makes us happier to see each other! We have our own hobbies! - but perhaps it's a sign that we're pretty detached.
I assumed I would be single again by now (it's always been an entertaining cycle of beaus and single up until now); so several years with one person is new territory.
@Awesomely Nonfunctional YES, perfectly said! That was what bugged me about the first letter: having many things in common alone does not equal dream relationship. It's better to be with someone who consistently treats you respectfully (read: NOT flirtatiously emailing other women), even if they're your polar opposite. Imagine the hot chemistry you could have with a fresh dude who did not attend your elementary school!
Bullet Bra letter-writer here! I LOVE THE HAIRPIN and was so giddy about having my letter published. A few comments:
a. Thank you SO much to Jane and the sweetheart commenters who offered excellent bra suggestions! I had a ton of fun reading your replies, and am now OVERWHELMED by choices.
b. I think it's hilarious that some readers mistook 'HIPS' to be a some sort of ailment. Sorry for the confusion - I just wanted to emphasize that I have a booty. I once overheard men on an elevator remark "bottom heavy" after I exited.
c. I hope the beginning of my letter didn't come across as trash-talking tiny boobs, big butts, or ANY body type - my intent wasn't to wallow in any sort of negative body image. To rephrase, I think curvy ladies are hot, but was only blessed with the bottom portion of that look, so I work to compensate with good (or inventive, on sweater or turtleneck days!) bras.