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On What Should I Name My Plant?

Oh man, I like plants in theory but I am terrible with them. I may have a brown thumb. The best I can do is water other people's plants when they go out of town, and even then I need specific instructions. (But I am really good with cats and dogs? But they tell when they need stuff! Like, I feed my cat breakfast and dinner right on schedule and there are many times in-between where he makes sure I know his fat ass is TOTALLY STARVING.)

In college (when I could not have any pets in the dorm) I had a venus flytrap who lived for about two years. His (her? Idk with plants) name was Audrey. My roommate and I sang "Feed Me Seymour" to Audrey when we got bored, because we were cool like that.

Posted on March 26, 2015 at 6:03 am 0

On Hysteria and Teenage Girls

@AllisonWonderland At least when the Stones first started, they also had the androgyny thing going (with hair even longer than the Beatles').

Posted on March 17, 2015 at 1:24 am 0

On The Best Time I Got Sent to "Pray-Away-the-Gay" Bible Yoga Camp

Posted on November 13, 2014 at 12:18 am 0

On How We Eat

@Onymous Yeah, exactly. Eggs benedict seems plenty creative to me. I think the only non-creativity in American breakfasts stems from how many of us skip it.

Posted on October 10, 2014 at 4:19 am 0

On Annotated Rainbow Brite Fan Fiction

Hey, I also dictated Rainbow Brite fan fiction to my babysitter! I couldn't remember Murky and Lurky's names, so I just called them "the bad guy" and "the other one."

My babysitter was a great editor. She pointed out when I had called both bad guys "the other one." She also didn't say anything like "My Little Ponies are a totally different show!" when I decided they needed to show up. (To younger me, the only thing keeping Starlite from being a pony was that he was too tall and the star was on his forehead, not his butt.)

Posted on September 18, 2014 at 3:04 pm 1

On Ask Baba Yaga: How Do I Commit to the Life I Have Instead of the Life I Could Have?

It is the same life.
Exactly! You're still you, your past is still there, you're just in a different place (and cut off from the social circle you did have*). It's hard to get better just by running away from your problems.

*I am sure among everyone you've ever known are people who do care about you and like you even with your current problems (they have problems too!). They'd miss you.

Posted on September 11, 2014 at 3:44 pm 0

On No Excuses: Responding To One-Handed Reviews

@CaitlinRenee LOL. "Don't take it personally even though that's what I'm doing!"

PS- tldr

Posted on September 5, 2014 at 7:52 pm 1

On No Excuses: Responding To One-Handed Reviews

@beetnemesis Kind of like rubbernecking at a traffic accident
Oh, so you were driving home from work and Jennifer Lawrence's naked body caused a huge traffic jam?

Also, here's a hint: commentaries typically included more than one word. One word commentaries are usually adjectives, as those are words that we use describe things. The person who observes the sky is blue is ahead of you. Your "commentary" boils down to, "the sky is the sky."

Posted on September 5, 2014 at 1:01 pm 0

On No Excuses: Responding To One-Handed Reviews

@CaitlinRenee And also, where did all the smart, snappy, educated women who used to make up the hairpin commentariat get off to.
They all went someplace where they could disagree without someone implying that they were dumb and uneducated.

Posted on September 5, 2014 at 12:56 pm 0

On No Excuses: Responding To One-Handed Reviews

@beetnemesis Anyone who justifies "a gross invasion of privacy" (your words) with the phrase "because… Internet" is lucky someone actually came up with an insult as unique as pigturd. You're lucky to be associated with an animal as great a pig.

"all the this vitriol and divisiveness for someone who did a vitriolic, divisive thing!" Well, I'm shocked.

Posted on September 5, 2014 at 7:57 am 0