I could never picture my ideal wedding, so I got married at city hall in a fun 50's dress and it turns out that WAS my ideal wedding.
Oh god, forever. That's always the twist. I feel like there should have been one where the twist was like "Briefly, and the the eerie noise stopped and everything was totally fine." Because that would have caused me some real existential dread.
100% Actually a middle aged-dad.
This is my first tornado season, and I have to say, I'm not loving it. My cat complained the entire time we were hiding in my bathroom yesterday.
All right. I have a background in media, and were I interviewing that delightful woman, I wouldn't have waited until she cried for help unearthing her dog. Jesus, reporter, get your human priorities right for eff's sake.
Ohhh, it's like that video after the hurricane when the lady's cat comes back. Just thinking about that makes me tear up.
I have family out in OKC, and they're okay, but oh my god. Like everyone else far removed from the scene, I want to help, so I'm trying to figure out where a donation would make the biggest difference--thank you for the link, Emma.
This seems like a good time to remind folks to do two things, if at all possible:
1. Donate to the Red Cross. Please make a general donation, not one that's earmarked for this or any other disaster. The RC has its problems, yes, but they're the main relief group out in OK and in TX at the moment. You can text REDCROSS to 90999 and a ten-buck donation will show up on your next phone bill.
2. Donate blood if you can. There's always a shortage of blood, and times like this make local shortages much more acute. You don't have to be near Oklahoma or Texas to do so; blood banks all over the country coordinate and transport blood and blood products where they're needed.
The most common cause of injury and death in storms like this is folks hit by flying debris, folks who sustain trauma in car rollovers, and people who had heavy things fall on them. All of those cases are likely to need blood at some point in the future, so every donation helps.
Y'all keep your collective heads down. Be safe.
@katzenklavier Whoa that was really long. My first short-story length cathartic comment on the Hairpin!
@Bittersweet LW4, I got out of a similarly horrible situation a month and a half ago and I'm SO HAPPY that I did. I know when you're on the inside of a relationship like that it feels like the sadness and loss of breaking up will crush you (and crush your ex, and you'll be responsible...), and that it's worth putting up with your girlfriend's abuse to avoid this. But that's because abuse escalates slowly, so you don't realize the full weight of it until it abruptly stops. I was super sad when I left my boyfriend, but the sheer relief of not being yelled at, accused of cheating, mistrusted, insulted, blamed, provoked into yelling back, having your sexuality questioned, EVERY FUCKING DAY....is so worth it. The "mental exhaustion" that you're experiencing will recede. I can actually concentrate on my job and my friends and having fun now because I'm not constantly checking my phone to see how much trouble I'm in.
Physically leaving the space is one thing. I was living at his house, and I had to spend a few weeks living out of a backpack on friend's couches while apartment hunting, which sucked (but thanks, friends!). Freeing yourself of the idea that you're responsible for your ex is much harder. For me it was very useful to realize that manipulative people don't necessarily realize what they're doing. I couldn't believe that my ex was sitting around scheming the best ways to weaken me and keep me with him. He wasn't though--he was just protecting himself, at my expense. He was depressed too, and traumatized by past experiences. A lot of abusers are genuinely suffering and reacting to internal pain. But that DOES NOT make it your problem. You cannot be a martyr to someone else's pain, and staying with her will not heal her. It will eventually destroy you. Ok, she's depressed? So are tons of other people. If you want to help people, volunteer for a suicide hotline. Don't sacrifice your own happiness for someone who treats you like shit.
Finally, be prepared for a hard separation period. Try to cut off contact as soon as your possessions are sorted out. Block her number and facebook etc. It will feel cruel but it's the only way you're going to feel better, and it's probably better for her too in the long run.