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By remargaret on Boyfriends' Mothers, "Compassion," and Les Misérables

@Porn Peddler "Nobody likes Benjamin. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be Pralines and Dick."

Posted on January 25, 2013 at 2:56 pm 9

By iceberg on Yogurt for Lunch

@cuminafterall Is this where we can talk about how those cake flavored yoghurts are just an insulting tool of the patriarchy because just eat some fucking cake and live a little?

Posted on January 25, 2013 at 11:12 am 17

By steve on Happy Hour: Happy Trails

Carry a martini with you. Not only will that slake your thirst, but other hikers you pass will be able to recognise how sophisticated you are.

If you carry one in each hand you can double your intake while also appearing as if you were thoughtful enough to bring someone else a martini.

Posted on May 16, 2012 at 12:39 pm 10

By karion on New Friends, Surprise Babies, and the "Rare Phenomenon"

LW#2 - I think the two of you are perfectly matched. He is a juicebox who lied about making a baby with his live-in girlfriend (who you think is an ex), and you apparently have the shortest memory and lowest expectations on the planet.

I say, hang in there. He'll change, and eventually, be devoted only to you, and not his two other kids by his current girlfriend. And hey - when he fucks around on you when you are pregnant (or shortly thereafter), please show the next girlfriend as much respect as you are showing his current girlfriend.

Posted on May 11, 2012 at 3:23 pm 23

By DH@twitter on The Best Time I Asked for Something and Got It

I love this story. I will tell it to my Floridian family next Christmas, and every Christmas after.

I love to swim but I'm a Leo...so I guess I'm a SEA LION.

Posted on May 10, 2012 at 4:08 pm 7

By Serafina on The Best Time I Asked for Something and Got It

Aghhhh you got me right in the feelings!

Posted on May 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm 25

By allthepie on Girls I Have Loved for One Moment

@Palmetto Oh, right bladder/ appendix. Now I feel weird and bad that I immediately assumed she was referring to a tail.

Posted on May 9, 2012 at 8:46 pm 8

By JessicaLovejoy on What Happens When You Serve as an Alternate Juror

Gurl, it is CHUNG-CHUNG. Wanna fight about it?

Posted on May 9, 2012 at 2:40 pm 6

By Vicky on What Happens When You Serve as an Alternate Juror

If you're going to eat an entire cake with your bare hands, take it from this expert and eat an angel food cake. Satisfyingly brick- or bundt-shaped, probably as healthy as you can get while still being an entire cake.

Posted on May 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm 17

By Xanthophyllippa on Ask an Archivist

@okaycrochet CAT JAIL FOR YOU, MITTENS.

Posted on May 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm 6