@Porn Peddler "Nobody likes Benjamin. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be Pralines and Dick."
By iceberg on Yogurt for Lunch
@cuminafterall Is this where we can talk about how those cake flavored yoghurts are just an insulting tool of the patriarchy because just eat some fucking cake and live a little?
Carry a martini with you. Not only will that slake your thirst, but other hikers you pass will be able to recognise how sophisticated you are.
If you carry one in each hand you can double your intake while also appearing as if you were thoughtful enough to bring someone else a martini.
LW#2 - I think the two of you are perfectly matched. He is a juicebox who lied about making a baby with his live-in girlfriend (who you think is an ex), and you apparently have the shortest memory and lowest expectations on the planet.
I say, hang in there. He'll change, and eventually, be devoted only to you, and not his two other kids by his current girlfriend. And hey - when he fucks around on you when you are pregnant (or shortly thereafter), please show the next girlfriend as much respect as you are showing his current girlfriend.
I love this story. I will tell it to my Floridian family next Christmas, and every Christmas after.
I love to swim but I'm a Leo...so I guess I'm a SEA LION.
Aghhhh you got me right in the feelings!
@Palmetto Oh, right bladder/ appendix. Now I feel weird and bad that I immediately assumed she was referring to a tail.
Gurl, it is CHUNG-CHUNG. Wanna fight about it?
If you're going to eat an entire cake with your bare hands, take it from this expert and eat an angel food cake. Satisfyingly brick- or bundt-shaped, probably as healthy as you can get while still being an entire cake.
@okaycrochet CAT JAIL FOR YOU, MITTENS.