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On I Am So Sorry You Probably Didn't Have An Orgasm That Time We Hooked Up

@adorable-eggplant
It is! The picture relates to the origin of the commenter name.

Did you know that New Zealand was the first country to declare itself a Jonathan Franzen-free zone? Many other countries have followed since, and New Zealand has since prohibited Jonathans Lethem and Safran Foer.

Posted on November 13, 2013 at 2:09 pm 4

On I Am So Sorry You Probably Didn't Have An Orgasm That Time We Hooked Up

I don't understand why this piece fails to address every possible aspect of kyriarchy, including the one I am secretly thinking about right now. Very disappointing, Jia, this is not what I read the Hairpin for.

Posted on November 13, 2013 at 1:08 pm 8

On The Bestworst Guy

@SeaMoney
Oof. You do know the joke about space pens?

Posted on March 11, 2013 at 7:01 pm 0

On Friday Open Thread

@Little_Lakes
I think you should go for it! Ordinarily it might be odd that you didn't say anything earlier, but no longer working together provides you with the best of excuses. Don’t worry about not being “pretty”, everyone has their own preferences for attraction, so you might be right for him or you might not, no matter who you are. Hearing “no” is always hard, but nothing ventured nothing gained! I think that most people are flattered to hear someone else express interest, and I can’t imagine that anyone would think the less of you for it (at least anyone who you should care about). Don’t overplay your interest, but do be clear that you want to see him.

And watch out for Facebook or other ways of contacting him that he might miss and never respond to! If there’s a sure-fire way to reach him, use that to ask him for a good time to call, and, in the call, do some small talk then go in for the kill (“You know, I wanted to say this before, but we were working together and I didn’t want to make anything awkward. Now that I’ve moved on, I was wondering if we could meet up for coffee/whatever.”)

Posted on February 1, 2013 at 6:49 pm 4

On Interview With a Virgin: Scarlet

@j-i-a
"something that is hurting zero people"

That's sort of the heart of it, isn't it? I'm inclined to agree with your description, but I can see how others might have some reason to disagree.

Posted on February 1, 2013 at 10:38 am 5

On Long Distances, "Terribleness," and the Skin-Crawly Feeling

"(Whichever end you prefer.)"

RIMSHOT!

Posted on January 11, 2013 at 12:21 pm 20

On Google Searches During a Three-Day Juice Fast

@fondue with cheddar
Wash your hands. Before you eat. Three times at first. Then again. Until they bleed. Then again.

Only then will you be "eating clean."

Posted on January 4, 2013 at 2:56 pm 1

On Google Searches During a Three-Day Juice Fast

@Cat named Virtute
I'm on a gin-and-juice cleanse right now. It's going great.

Posted on January 4, 2013 at 2:43 pm 13

On Selective Empathy and "An Outlet for Maternal Feelings"

@datalass
What about the cookie orphans, then? (I'm assuming that you wouldn't be eating selfish, childless cookies.)

Better eat them all, just to be safe.

Posted on January 4, 2013 at 2:25 pm 5

On Selective Empathy and "An Outlet for Maternal Feelings"

@KatnotCat
I think you put your finger on it: it is unclear what the writer truly wants, perhaps (again, taking the inquiry seriously here) even to herself.

Posted on January 4, 2013 at 1:33 pm 1