On The Spinsterhood Pie

@all THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE. I seriously just had a weird but very intense freakout over the (purely theoretical, since I am a spinster for the foreseeable future) prospect of moving in with someone who insisted on decorating in neutrals. I actually think it would be a deal breaker.

Posted on July 4, 2013 at 10:15 pm 0

On Beauty Q&A: Shells, Bra Purses, and The Next New 'Do


I have it and LOVE it, but recently showed up to a family bbq with the exact same hairstyle as my grandmother.

Posted on January 23, 2013 at 3:13 pm 15

On Beauty Q&A: Shells, Bra Purses, and The Next New 'Do


I do mine by pin curling it over night... it's a bitch at first, but now that I've gotten the hang of it, it takes me less than 15 minutes after my shower, and I don't even need a mirror (Daily Show time!) anymore. Do a row of stand-up curls at the top of your head (front-most one goes forward to get that fun front wave thing), and that will give you volume. Then I brush it out in the morning. Umm... I learned all this from Youtube.

All that being said, I've started looking into perms to see if there's a way to get it to happen by itself, because the instant my hair gets wet, it goes straight and gives me the sads. My hair has JUST ENOUGH of a wave to make it look wonky if I don't style it, and I kind of hate it straight anyway.

Posted on January 23, 2013 at 3:07 pm 4

On Robin Sparkles Is Not Real, Though, Guys

@katiemcgillicuddy My sis lives in Switzerland, and according to her, everything the Swiss know about Canadians comes fom How I Met Your Mother. If they get sick of singing Let's Go To The Mall to her, it's Two Beavers Are Better Than One. I went to visit her over the holidays, and when the 19 year old who tried to pick me up heard I was Canadian, it was all, ROBIN SCHERBATSKY!!

Posted on January 19, 2013 at 12:42 pm 0

On Beauty Q&A: Hair Products -- Why So Many?

I have perm questions! Mainly reassurance that I won't look like a dang poodle, but, you know. If one straightens one's hair with a perm (actually, can you?), it'll go back to curly after being washed, right? How many curl options are there? Right now I have a long bob that I've been either pin-curling overnight, or putting spiral-y waves into with my flat iron. But basically it's straight with body (not so much a wave as a half-assed nod to one) naturally. I've ALWAYS wanted curly hair, so I keep toying with the idea of a perm. But I've also never dyed my hair, so chemicals scare me!

Posted on September 26, 2012 at 8:41 pm 0

On Ask an Indelicate Question: How Do You Go, Girl?

@Genghis Khat

Imodium preemptively before dates? You just blew my mind and changed my life. How did I not think of this?

Also, related to this whole topic, I have The Noisiest Digestive System in the world. I swear, it just likes to make noise while it's full, empty, whatever. I'm always worried that people think I'm farting, but it's just my stomach discussing what it's digesting. Sometimes I play it off like it's rumbling because I'm hungry because that seems way more normal, but then people offer me food.

Posted on June 28, 2012 at 8:25 pm 0

On Mascarapedia, Volume I


Ugh, the new YSL Faux-Cils. Only time I've ever returned something to Sephora. It has a really strong smell--like a weird perfume? I could SMELL MY EYELASHES all day, and since I'm sensitive to smells, it gave me a headache. I can't even tell you if it was a great mascara because the scent just ruined my day. Is that just a thing with YSL make up? I give severe side-eye to that section now.

But now you've gotten me intrigued by Hypnose. I'm currently using Fairy Drops, and am underwhelmed.

Posted on June 28, 2012 at 7:49 am 0

On On Adding or Keeping Distances


I'm going through a friendship... downgrade? I think? It's like my two best friends got together and decided to take our relationship from OMG BFF-4-EVA to old pal from school that they see sometimes, when they can spare time from all of their awesome fun hanging out without me. It's like a break-up in that I've gotten amazingly drunk and cried over it a lot (and can I just thank the technology gods that Siri doesn't understand my commands when I demand that she send "WHYYY DO YOU HATE ME NOWWWWW??" texts at 2 AM?), but I haven't confronted them because none of us are any good at confrontation, and they're doing it in such a skillful, drama-free way that I am, of course, going to come off as the crazy one. So... I guess what I'm saying is that I hope that by being calm and accepting and trying to get out there and cultivate new friendships, I'll realize that I'm better off without them in a little while? Because if they're willing to send me clear-cut messages like hanging out together without me on my birthday, but not to actually make an effort to fix whatever's broken with our friendship (after ten years!), clearly it's just time to move the hell on.


Posted on June 1, 2012 at 3:21 pm 0

On Scandals of Classic Hollywood: Marlene Dietrich, Femme Fatale

I just cut my bra-strap length hair into a chin-length bob yesterday with the intention of being the queen of pin curling this summer (because hair dryers + me being too cheap for a/c = fun morning heat stroke), so all these shots of Marlene being all Sex Goddess with amazing hair are rocking my socks right off.

ALSO: it took me until like I was fifteen to figure out that my parents' anniversary and my brother's birthday were only seven months apart. SCANDAL.

Posted on May 23, 2012 at 6:36 pm 4

On Friday Bargain Bin: What to Do With Your Allowance This Week



Posted on May 19, 2012 at 12:24 pm 0