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By Jaya on The Engagement Phone Cover and The Wedding-Industrial Complex

Oh my god thank you for this. I am getting married soon and I cringe every time I see this stuff specifically marketed to flaunt your engagement, a period that normally lasts less than a year!

A girl I know just changed her Facebook cover photo to say "He stole my heart so I'm stealing his name" and I wanted to barf.

Posted on April 2, 2014 at 4:37 pm 7

By lucy snowe on Did You Bring Your Dick to the Table?

do they have an intact version? i think i'd feel more powerful with bronze foreskin too.

Posted on March 27, 2014 at 11:25 am 2

By missedconnections on "I said you could snuggle. That doesn’t mean/ your cold feet all over my dick"

Dear god I get so pissed when a bed guest makes the cat jump off the bed.

Posted on March 24, 2014 at 5:38 pm 2

By hotdog on Signs I Want You To Leave My House After I've Hosted You for Dinner

This could also be titled "Signs I am passive-aggressive, and not someone you should be spending your evenings with, anyway."

My list would be as follows:

1. I have said, "oh, I've had such a great time with you! I have to wake up early tomorrow, though, so I have to cut the evening a bit short. Can we do this again soon?"

Another intricate problem solved by saying what you mean.

Posted on March 20, 2014 at 5:01 pm 4

By Logan Sachon on Reasons Why Everyone is Engaged But Me: A Sampling

@Amanda Kat@facebook hah amanda i haven't showered in FIVE days

Posted on March 11, 2014 at 3:09 pm 3

By Melissa Miller on Reasons Why Everyone is Engaged But Me: A Sampling

I don't have short hair....very un-engaged. Wah, wah. My argument that "I'm too awesome!" is wearing pretty thin.

Posted on March 11, 2014 at 12:49 pm 3

By Trilby on Thoughts I Had at Naked Yoga

Why don't they just call it butthole yoga and be done with it.

Posted on February 7, 2014 at 4:38 pm 6

By Onymous on Thoughts I Had at Naked Yoga

What kind of sadistic fuck would even dream up naked yoga.

Posted on February 6, 2014 at 5:36 pm 11

By OhMarie on Thoughts I Had at Naked Yoga

This is not unlike what was going through my head at hot yoga (people there are barely clothed), except for then I passed out, sat down for the rest of the class, and never used the rest of my groupon classes.

Posted on February 6, 2014 at 5:21 pm 6

By shannanigans on A Bold Notion for Baby Showers

ugh, coworkers

Posted on February 4, 2014 at 3:26 pm 1