On 13 Camp Songs Where Someone Dies

@SarcasticFringehead I can still remember my library card number from 15 years ago because I made up a jingle for it - 23113003804246. And I forgot to buy tape at the store today. Go figure.

Posted on June 5, 2013 at 5:55 pm 0

On 13 Camp Songs Where Someone Dies

@Bittersweet One year my (usually sober) aunts got drunk at Christmas and spent the entire night singing the Titanic song. It was probably my favorite Christmas.

Posted on June 5, 2013 at 5:50 pm 0

On Daisy, You're a Drip, Dear: Detestable Literary Characters Who Are Not Technically Villains

@Springtime for Voldemort I think another thing that people don't often mention about Gatsby is that Nick is an Unreliable Narrator. I think the movie actually did a really good job with pointing that out and made it (specifically the parties) really fantastical and I actually really appreciated that aspect of the film. That didn't make me like the characters any more, because of all the aforementioned character flaws, but it's something to keep in mind.

Posted on May 20, 2013 at 12:45 pm 0

On I Don't Believe in Ghosts (So How Did the Empty Dog Kennel Break Down Our Door?)

@formergr Here are my "ghost" stories (or at least stories I can't explain)!

1: When I was little, I had friends who lived in a "haunted house," and the only thing I can really remember about visiting them is once we played Super Mario on the Nintendo (this was early 90s) and then we turned everything off, the console, the TV, even the lights in the room because it was like noon, to go play Barbies, and this was the only Nintendo in the house, and about 10 minutes later, clear as day coming from the direction of the television, we could hear the Mario music including the lose a life sounds. I asked what it was and I will never, ever forget my friend's response: "Oh, that's just the ghosts playing. They like to play after we're done." This was something they were used to!!! Completely freaked me out. I was also 6, so I feel justified in being freaked out.

2: I had two cousins die in a house fire one October almost a decade ago. The following Christmas, their family went to the gravesite to visit them. On the road near their grave was a bag with two t-shirts in them, one for a band that one of their brothers had bought the album for a week earlier and the other had a car on it that was the other brother's dream car. Later that night, a complete stranger knocked on the door and handed my aunt the exact Bitty Baby their sister wanted (there are a bunch of different skin tone/hair/eye color options to choose from). This one I think is kind of sweet! It's like my cousins were looking out for their siblings or something. I'm an atheist and I guess I can't really believe in an afterlife, but you know, I understand why people do.

3: This one's not my story, but a friend told me that once she had friends that thought it was really funny to trick her into going to haunted sites because it freaked her out even though nothing ever happened. But the last time they did something like that, she got in the car one July evening and they started driving and they were like, "We're going to such and such graveyard!" and she was mad but she was already in the car. So they get to the graveyard and turn in... The second they drive past the gate, every single window completely fogs up even though it was 80+ degrees outside. So she starts freaking out and they turn around and leave and once they exit the graveyard, the windows immediately cleared. I probably don't have everything right and she told it way better, but still super scary!

Posted on May 10, 2013 at 5:24 pm 5

On If You Had to Guess

#2 gave me flashbacks to this story:

I was dating this guy and we went to Panera with one of my friends. The guy I was seeing got an apple as a side and after we were done eating our main meals, he said, "Do you guys mind if I slice my apple?" My friend and I both said no, assuming he'd use the knife Panera gave him on his tray. He then proceeds to pull out like a Bowie knife from his pocket and start using that to chunk off pieces of the apple right there in Panera! On a Sunday afternoon! Around church groups and little kids! It was so, so bizarre.

And then he broke up with me after a week of dating by saying, "If we're going to stay together, some things have to change, starting with you talk about yourself way too much. I get bored listening to you talk." I cut my losses.

Posted on March 22, 2013 at 3:20 pm 4

On Yule Log It!

What do you do with the Scotch after you rinse the glass??

Posted on December 20, 2012 at 5:43 pm 0

On Don't We All?

@fondue with cheddar On move in day my roommate saw that a bottle of rubber cement said "shatter resistant" and slammed it on the ground and that's how I had splashes of rubber cement all over my comforter for the rest of the year. Not the smartest girl.

Posted on December 20, 2012 at 11:50 am 1

On Photo Etiquette and the Modern Family

LW1 - This isn't a "break up!" message, because that's something you'll have to decide for yourself. It sounds like you're generally happy in the relationship and you genuinely care for him. But if there's one thing reading Dear Prudie has taught me, it's this:

Our laws are such that if you have a mentally ill loved one who will not go in for treatment, then there's often not much you can do. (These laws need reforming, but I don't see that happening.) So what I'm left with is giving more advice along the lines of after you'd done what you can, you just have to sometimes accept people won't or can't be helped.

(linked from The Hairpin itself - http://thehairpin.com/2012/12/is-good-advice-timeless sorry I'm not fancy and I don't know how to link things in comments)

Just because you love someone or they are family doesn't mean they deserve to be in your life. And just because they have a mental illness doesn't give them carte blanche to act however they want if they actively do not seek treatment. If you had cancer and didn't seek treatment, my sympathy would go out the window for you. (For the record, I have all the sympathy in the world for cancer patients... My grandfather died of lung cancer and it was awful) But if you're going to say, "I can't hate on him for having depression because I wouldn't for having some other disease," then you have to take a step back and realize yes you would if he were just letting himself slowly and painfully die of that disease and force you to watch every single day and refuse to get professional treatment when he very well could. Because that's what he is doing. Currently. I mean, maybe he's not actively dying, but he is affecting your life.

Posted on December 11, 2012 at 3:03 pm 1

On B-I-N-G-O Home, Everybody. Party's Over.

I have to admit that I'd be totally on your side with the football thing if I hadn't been indoctrinated into the CULT OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL in the past year. My parents divorced when I was 6 and I was raised entirely by my unathletic mother and I knew football existed, vaguely, like my school has a team but don't ask me how well they do... It's on the morning announcements so just listen to that, ok? My brother started playing football this year and he plays cornerback and I got really excited because I thought he said quarterback and I started telling people he played quarterback and that's the only position I know and no, he doesn't. So I had and have no idea what he does. And please don't explain it. So this is the background I come from, and then I get engaged to someone who plans our Thanksgiving travel around when rivalry games start and I have a phone in my hand the entire time updating him on scores as he drives.

But anyway, my future in-laws are HUGE MAJOR South Carolina fans and luckily South Carolina fans are pretty classy, from what I've seen, but my future sister-in-law was in an airport once in like Spain or something, not even in the US, wearing a Gamecocks shirt and a Clemson fan (in a Clemson shirt) came up to her and just said, "FUCK YOU!" and walked away. Who does that?? So, Michigan sounds like he's being a whiny baby, but it's possible that it's more than just light-hearted family ribbing.

Posted on December 11, 2012 at 1:21 pm 0

On Fictional Aunts Stern

@KeLynn My mom is one of 12 and my dad is one of 8 and yeah... I have fond childhood memories of acting out Power Rangers with my cousins but now I have 80 baby showers a year for people I never talk to. I'm ok with the fact that my future kids will only have 3 aunts and 2 uncles total (I'm one of 4, Mr. OK is one of 3). Gives us the opportunity to be more closely knit.

Posted on November 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm 0