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Nick Douglas

Nick Douglas

Nick edits another site but feels bad promoting it here so let's pretend he edits Zombo.com.

On Teenage Girls, as Imagined By an 8-Year-Old in 1991

Oh sure, when SHE does it it's fine, but when the cops find MY book of teen girls, I've got to start knocking all the doors in my new neighborhood.

Posted on December 20, 2013 at 9:02 am 0

On A Relationship in Two Tiny Garments

@punzy Not even Rachel Green could pull it off.

Posted on December 17, 2013 at 10:11 am 0

On Interview With a Virgin: Scarlet

@beerd So we could form an abstinence-education team by going around telling stories about our nonmemorable first sexual partners?

Or, I guess, pointedly *not* telling stories.

Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:14 am 0

On Interview With a Virgin: Scarlet

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose And maybe it hints at the problems with society's extant obsession with "virginity" as this important measure of "purity", not entirely unlike the complicated terminology around people of mixed race was one sign of the fucked-up assumptions behind racism?

Posted on January 31, 2013 at 5:21 pm 9

On Really Good Books You Could Spend Your Allowance On: Part Two

@Emby And if anyone wants the wordplay and farce without the scientific and philosophical meaning, may I also recommend Stoppard's reworkings of "Rough Crossing" and "On the Razzle"?

Posted on January 17, 2012 at 4:55 pm 0

On The Best Time I Made a Celebrity Think I Was a Moron

@Bebe The only thing is that Steve Wozniak is a pretty chill guy. He's annoyingly silly — he likes to buy and spend booklets of perforated-edge $2 bills, which are legal tender, for yuks, and he plays Segway polo on an actual Segway polo team — but not stuck up. I bet he thought she was intentionally insulting him. So hey, more for poor Kira to feel bad about!

Posted on September 8, 2011 at 1:00 pm 2

On The Story of My Ex and His Cheeseburger

What the actual fuck!

I made my (wonderful, non-McD's-eating, burger-loving) girlfriend join me in a McDonald's in Switzerland, because I'd never been to a foreign McDonald's before and it's not like our usual Swiss diet of cheese, ham and potatoes was sacrosanct.

I got a great photo of her hiding her face, like I was a paparazzo catching her cheating.

Posted on August 11, 2011 at 3:49 pm 1

On Morning Mad Libs

@Megan Patterson@facebook FILTHY SLATTERN

Posted on August 4, 2011 at 10:44 am 2

On Morning Mad Libs

Using "fart" for every blank works better than usual.

Posted on August 4, 2011 at 10:25 am 3

On Mr. Darcy Might Have LOL’d: On Male Usage of Emoticons and Laugh-cronyms

The problem with LOLs and "haha"s is that they're all representations of a reflexive act. That's why I outright stole Choire Sicha's way of laughing online: ";alksjdf;lkasdf"

You just mash the keyboard. Doesn't it feel natural, even onomatopoeiac?

Posted on June 17, 2011 at 1:44 pm 1