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On Befriending Your Best Friend's Girlfriend and Resisting the "One True Sex Act"

@hedgehogerie I'm going to disagree (somewhat) with your disagreement. While I think such conversations can be helpful and are important, they are premised (at a certain level) on the person who initiates them to be infinitely giving, patient, and understanding--which can then just encourage LW3's parents to up the pressure. As a trans person with parents who use some of the behaviors described on me, not laying out boundaries and limiting contact instead encouraged people (my mother in particular) to use me as a dumping ground for her feelings about my transition. Without clear boundaries, including not talking about certain things, she felt is was okay to wrap me up in a blanket of guilt and acrimony and hope (in vain) that it would smother my desire to transition.

Like I said, I don't disagree entirely, but I do think in some cases action up to ceasing/limiting contact can be called for when it seems like nothing else works.

Posted on December 3, 2013 at 5:24 pm 3

On The Three Types of Golden Girls Commenters on YouTube

My girlfriend and I have decided. She is a Super Fan, and I am a Stickler. Because I stand by my nitpick: In "72 Hours," there is no way Rose drove from Miami to Tuscaloosa in one night, unless she left that afternoon.

Posted on August 22, 2013 at 10:23 pm 2

On "Real Man Adventures," T Cooper

@taco besos Trans autobiography is something of a double bind: You don't want to use the medical/social model, because it calls back to essentiaism, but then the actual experience of transition creates/encourages such problematic feelings/moments. This misogyny can recede over time, however. Particularly the period of years 3-5 (after T's mostly done it's work and the majority of folks pass), one has to think v. intentionally about "what does it mean to be a dude, and what kind of dude do I want to be?" This change is very internal and emotional, and is rarely written about with the depth it deserves.

Posted on January 30, 2013 at 6:27 pm 0

On Get Your Midnight Book Release Costume Ready!

@sintaxis As a card carrying trans person, I understand your concern but must strongly disagree. Working with very young children is a delicate business, but trans kids who can verbalize their discomfort often feel and maintain their dysphoria from a very early age (this is not to say that everyone does or must have a childhood narrative - I don't). The alternative is Kenneth Zucker, whose methods I find horrifying.

And by the time one reaches puberty, the possibility of regret is minimal. Children are both more and less aware than adults think.

Posted on December 4, 2012 at 11:25 am 0

On Scientology and Me, Part Five: Hubbard, Mao, and Me

@Stella Forstner It's a good thing I'm reading this now, then, as opposed to being in the throes of CHI 301 three years ago.

Of course, now I don't have time to practice thanks to my PhD coursework, so I'm not sure that's exactly an improvement.

Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:13 am 1

On Secondary Relationships, Tequila Fumes, and the Lesbian Internet

So, I'll out myself as LW #1 in this column (http://thehairpin.com/2012/08/filed-nails-when-to-move-and-the-coded-mixtape/).

I just wanted to provide an update. Your advice was 100 percent right, and worked out perfectly! Of course, there was a month of being 1000% oblivious to the actual interest in fucking. Like seriously, it was embarrassing. Other people had bets. Objective, outside analysts were brought in.

And because I mentioned I wrote to QC, she was (due to the mysterious ways of the universe) of course mere hours post first sexytimes linked to another QC column on Facebook and read my letter.

Apparently, all roads will inevitably lead back to the Hairpin.

Posted on November 16, 2012 at 4:00 pm 6

On Crushes on Professors and "How Can I Tell If I'm Boring?"

Oh man, LW1, I'm pretty sure you're convinced, but have another terrifying anecdote: A prof at the university where I got my MA was involved with a student after she was in his class. He was already skeevy (let's just say he had a more-than-academic interest in the population he studied), but then she left him at the altar and everything went to hell. He now has an outstanding harassment case, brought by a former advisee, against him that will die in HR. All the grad students who were around at the time have made it our mission to ruin him professionally since he'll likely get tenure.

Seriously, do not pass go. Any prof who seems to raring to go on that front is probably not someone you want to have relationship/sexytimes with.

Posted on November 10, 2012 at 3:36 pm 1

On How Ya Been, Pin Pals?

@Faintly Macabre I'm right there with you, worrying I've offended them with my ironic Spam notecard.

Posted on July 31, 2012 at 6:09 pm 0

On How Ya Been, Pin Pals?

Now I feel bad that my Pinpal can't reply to my (first) card, because I sent it out right before I moved and didn't include my new address. There will be a letter soon, I promise!

Posted on July 31, 2012 at 5:13 pm 0

On Girl Talk: Sinclair

@lavender gooms Oh man, if you loved the Bees as much as I did, you have to watch this developer commentary by the guy who designed that level, Arcadia: http://www.pcgamer.com/2012/06/27/cool-insights-from-a-candid-and-funny-bioshock-developer-commentary/. There as going to be a gun with bee ammo! There's a design and everything.

Posted on July 1, 2012 at 6:38 pm 0