By Jinxie on Explanations
@S. Elizabeth YES. The Hairpin is not a charity home for wayward men who can't get published on the "real" internet.
By effystonem on Explanations
@MrsTeacherFace You're correct, it seems like he does want to "encourage men to be more introspective..." however, the majority of readers on this site are women, and we are already aware that men treat women in that way because we experience it every day, so his article seems patronizing to the majority of the readers of this site, the very motto of which tells us that ladies are first. If he would truly like to encourage men to practice better behavior this should've been posted on any of the hundreds of gamer and/or male-centric sites that exist, as other posters have pointed out.
By wee_ramekin on Explanations
@MrsTeacherFace We're not "suddenly pretending" anything. This is a women's website, with the slogan "Ladies first". While there are many beloved male commenters and readers, this site is definitely geared toward women, with the overall readership and commentariat being predominantly female.
Secondly, the point that @IROTOTR and @Linette are making, I think, is that the readership of the Hairpin (and that includes the dudes!) are a little bit beyond this article. We are a group of people who discuss this kind of thing - in depth - all the time. Heck, most of these comments go into greater depth about misogyny than this article did. This contributor's article, while well-intended, is so very very very condescending and naive, especially to a crowd that talks about institutionalized misogyny and patriarchy on the reg.
ETA: It's also not our job to provide "learning material" for our male readers and contributors. If they don't pick up some Gender Studies 101 from the comments (and perhaps their own research based off the articles and comments on this site), then they are not going to find this site's content or discussion very worthwhile, and they will be hard-pressed to join the community in any respectful and meaningful way.
By KatPruska on Explanations
@MrsTeacherFace Excuse me, but I think you mean we "females" are being a purse full of dicks. Or maybe a nice clutch. A clutch full of dicks.
Normally I love being mansplained at, but the men are being a steamer trunk full of bullshit today. And yesterday. And last century. The one before that, too. And before that. And that one too. Hold up, I think I'm seeing a pattern here. Maybe Larry can explain it to me.
By cuminafterall on Explanations
@MrsTeacherFace if we were a bag of dicks, we might be a better audience for this article!
By cuminafterall on Explanations
Lots of people have already gotten to the heart of why I didn't like this piece, but this especially:
"In a culture that’s been predominantly male for so long, you’d think women would be celebrated in any capacity."
Makes no sense. Why would you think that? Traditionally male institutions foster misogyny and, in extreme cases, violence against women. Think about the military and the Catholic church hierarchy. And even among those where women have made some inroads, "in any capacity"-- the tokenism celebrated in politics and STEM fields and the upper echelons of the business world-- is just not good enough.
By antilamentation on Explanations
Ummm... Not sure what I'm supposed to be doing with this information? I identify as a geeky woman. So... I'm supposed to understand that some geeky men are insecure and that leads them to act like jerks to geeky women? And then that understanding is supposed to do what for me? It's up to the guys to change, you know? You're sorry, and that's fine, but that's the journey the men need to go on, rather than the women. If I really wanted to hear anything, I'd prefer to hear about practical actions you were taking to be inclusive of women in your particular corner of the geek world now, having had your epiphany. Like hearing about you speaking up against booth babe culture, or advocating for tech conferences to have an equal ratio of women to male presenters, or challenging male peers the next time you see them making hostile statements against female gamers, or whatever.
I already know that it's not women's fault that men can be misogynistic, or feel threatened by the fact that women are a part of this wider field of shared interests. I don't really need that explained to me.
And I'm sure your experience is useful to you, but I don't think that's a complete explanation for why or how some geeky men persecute geeky women. I think you're taking a specific experience and generalizing it to everyone... And quite frankly, I think it's more complex than that. I think it's got to do with the difficulty of people who have more power - including the power to objectify others - starting to understand what it means to be in that position, including starting to understand what it means to be on the receiving end of that exclusion.
So what I notice is also that you started out by saying: "A friend of mine recently shared this comic, which is an amazing peek at what it feels like to be a woman and suffer the near-universal scorn of boys in geek culture. At least ... I think it’s an amazing peek. I’m not a woman and haven’t experienced that unique brand of shitty exclusionism, so I can’t say for sure."
And part of me thought: OK, good, you've identified a gap in your understanding and experience. This is a good time for you to SAY LESS and LISTEN MORE to those female friends. How about you ask them to tell you more, or you ask the geeky women here, to tell you about their experiences of being excluded or harrassed or treated less than equal? Then you LISTEN, and perhaps you start to empathize more, and that is what is needed, you know?
Rather than an explanation about what it is to be a guy, and to feel insecure, because dude, you have made it all about you. This whole piece is all about you. The geeky women are faintly seen through the prism of your adolescent insecurity, and again, as a geeky woman, what am I supposed to be doing with that, eh?
I feel like The Hairpin used to be a lot more Ladies First.
By queenofbithynia on Explanations
Look, man, just because you are a special geek with special geek qualities, that does not mean your sexism is special geek sexism. There isn't a particular geek explanation for it. It's the same sexism the football players have, the very same.
It's like, for all the white geeks with a certain sketchiness permeating their racial attitudes, the reason they have that issue is because they grew up as white suburbanites. Not -- not! -- because they spent puberty reading about dragons&unicorns.
By PistolPackinMama on Explanations
@stonefruit PS: Wire fans, I love you all. LOVE.