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On Crushes on Professors and "How Can I Tell If I'm Boring?"

Just a quick-personal-experience-anecdote regarding the professor:

Everyone gets crushed on their professors. I think it's a mark of a good class, because it's very rare that you fall in love with a professor who's a terrible lecturer, or one who teaches a class you find super boring. But crushes in these scenarios are NOT meant to be acted upon. I had the biggest crush on a theology professor, one who I had for multiple classes, the last being a six person seminar. After graduation, we met to catch up, and long story short, my MARRIED THEOLOGY PROFESSOR propositioned me and I've never fully forgiven him for it. This guy who was supposed to be a paragon of moral certitude, who had been teaching me and helping me discover the way I wanted to approach the world, turned out to be just another creep who had apparently been fantasizing about me for two years.

I haven't been able to think of anything I learned in his classes without also thinking about him, and thus it feels like kind of a waste. Like I can't use anything I learned, because it's somehow tainted by him.

So I guess, moral is, while crushes are great, the reality is often just creepy.

Posted on November 11, 2012 at 8:31 am 2

On Scrollus Interruptus

@Blackwatch Plaid WHAT KIND OF DRUGS?

Posted on October 25, 2012 at 5:59 pm 1

On A Salem-Lover's Tourism Guide

I have a story about Saint Chappelle! I went to Paris as part of a post-college spring break, and one night, my friend and I went out for fondue (as the French do, I guess?). We ended up drinking a whole bunch, and the next morning got up super early to go wait in line at Saint Chappelle. Turned out I had the kind of hangover where you don't realize you're hungover for like two hours, because you're actually still drunk, and I managed about 4 minutes looking at the pretty stained glass before I realized I was about to vomit everywhere. So I tried to keep it together, took a breather, and then thought maybe I was okay. I hustled to the metro, got on a train, realized I did in fact have to vomit everywhere, and then booted in a trashcan on the Pigalle platform.

Some Frenchman gave me what I'm sure was a disdainful look, but since he was French that might have just been his face.

Posted on October 22, 2012 at 11:19 pm 1

On Help for a Costume Wedding

My uncle did this for his wedding! I was 13, and it was a family affair, so here are the costumes I remember:

My mother was a flapper.
My father was Sherlock Holmes (my mother's idea, as I recall, and both costumes were rented).
My brother was a member of KISS.
I was... irritable, being 13.
My uncle (the groom) was Beetlejuice.
My aunt (the bride) was a woodland fairy.
There were several men dressed as pregnant brides (at this point I should note the wedding took place in Jamaica Plain).

....And that's all I've got. I'd recommend renting a costume if you don't want to stress about it!

Posted on October 15, 2012 at 5:24 pm 1

On Rapper Slash Amateur Gynecologist Awkwafina Explains It All

I think my main issue with this is that 5 hour PBS specials are generally amazing, and I would definitely consider that assessment of my vagina to be a plus.

Posted on October 11, 2012 at 3:47 pm 6

On Texts From Little Women

Amy was a miserable little hellion and I very much enjoyed it when she was publicly shamed for eating those pickled limes.

Also what even are pickled limes.

Posted on October 9, 2012 at 3:03 pm 13

On Beauty Q&A: Mystifying Dress Codes & The Great Bra Hunt

@wee_ramekin First, a derm can definitely help you with that. There are a lot of options, both pills and topical treatments, that don't involve hormonal birth control. Last summer I went through this terrible few months where I kept getting those, and what worked for me was a combination of a retinoid and a benzoyl peroxide gel - which I didn't think would, because I ran the gamut of terrible skin as a teenager (culminating in two rounds of Accutane!) But my point is, definitely go see a derm - worst thing that happens is you're in the same place you are now, right?

To find one, what you might be able to do is see if your health insurance has an online portal with a listing of doctors who are in-network. Most doctors take most insurance (at least where I live), but the copays, etc., vary widely, so it's important to be in-network. I honestly just picked the derm closest to my office when I did it, and she's been excellent. Otherwise, totally Yelp!

Posted on October 3, 2012 at 9:31 pm 2

On Beauty Q&A: Mystifying Dress Codes & The Great Bra Hunt

@jesslyn Zinc is the best!! My derm put me on nicotinamide, which is this combination of folic acid, copper, zinc and niacin, which has done wonders. Unfortunately, the drug manufacturer has decided to stop making it, so I'm heading in tomorrow to ask for different script. I will say, though, the absolute best option is always go see a derm - they don't always have to prescribe things, but I avoided it for so long last year, and it was such a good decision to finally go.

Posted on October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm 1

On Jane Demystifies All Beauty Secrets in Five Minutes

Cut me to the quick! I watch Jane's makeup videos when I feel lonely! Slash get home too late from happy hour to deal with making dinner and watch makeup videos drunkenly in bed while drinking seltzer.

I mean it's way fun.

Posted on April 12, 2012 at 8:42 pm 0

On Beauty Q&A: What's That Smell?

I'm very pro scent ads in magazines. This is actually why I haven't cancelled my Vogue subscription - all those awesome foldouts with the scents that you can try, and they're actually good for like 1-2 uses, unless you end up trying them all at once and then you have an entire arm of different sugary-grassy-sandalwoody scents going on.... which has happened more than once.

Also I find if I go perfume shopping at Sephora, after about five scents, I'll only be able to smell the alcohol and completely lose the ability to distinguish smells.

Posted on March 21, 2012 at 3:31 pm 0