I didn't think I had one, but Kathleenvguds reminded me:
When I was little, probably about 9 and my brother was about 11, I sort of trolled my family one Christmas. We would do Quebec-style réveillon where after Christmas Eve dinner the kids would hang out a bit, then get put to bed, then the adults would still be hanging out, and they would - spoiler! - fill our stockings, wake us up like "Santa came!" then we'd open our stockings at like midnight with all our family still there, then go back to sleep.
Before I went to bed I went out on our back deck in the snow, and opened our BBQ and took out some charcoal briquettes, then snuck back in the house and put them in my brother's stocking, so he would have "coal" in his stocking. Then I guess my parents just filled mine & my brother's stockings without noticing there was already some stuff in the toe of his.
When we woke up and opened them we went through all our toys and treats and then when he dumped out the end of his it had the "coal". My mom was shocked. I KNOW she thought her dad did it, and he thought SHE did it, but neither would "admit" it because neither did it.
I think I only told my mom the truth after my Grandpa passed away.
He was really impish and funny. He used to send me weird 90s shoebox cards about "political correctness" for my 8th birthday and stuff. One time my mom helped me come up with a joke for him that I *think* I sort of got: my grandpa was turning about 60-something, and we sent him a beautiful card from Hallmark that had a red rose on the front and fancy gold gilded script like "Best Wishes on the Occasion of your 100th Birthday". Inside it was all "Oh, the things you've seen!!".
And we just straight-faced signed it, like "Love you Grandpa xoxo"
@chrysopoeia Yeah, her twitter is so good. Last night I was telling my boyfriend about worries I have about a guy and he said "what would moscaddie say?"
My girlfriends and I constantly quote her tweets. I love that she is on the Hairpin!!!
jumping to comment one para in to say i am so obsessed with that full house scene and have been for my entire life
Fuck yes this author. Please lots more from her.
i love this
On Riding the Staten Island Ferry for the Sake of Riding of the Staten Island Ferry on a Wednesday Afternoon
I enjoy this. I lost my job (which I was at for 4 years) in January and have been unemployed for all of 2014. This is the first period of my life where I have no school or job for this long. (I'm 30)
Some days I fail to do Things.
I love the line "or an ad of your own" so funny.
This is perfect, calm, writing that is 'evocative', but evocative of a not too exciting emotion, in that it is accurately conveying... I'm not a literary critic. I don't know how to express what I mean, but I am into this. Thanks.
Literally the moment this story popped up on my FB feed I was sending an e-mail to a guy I just started seeing who had sent me a weird thing he thought I would like that I was offended by. I was like "Oh, that is not nice."
And he wrote back
Meant it as a compliment. On the other hand, can't have you thinking I'm *too* nice. ;-)
How goes your morning?"
Don't respond to my asserting my preferences with a cute winky smiley face of "it's better this way". Groooossss.
I love this! Thank you for writing this. I was soooo into following what magazines were starting and who was running them when Jump & other random ones were out. TWIST? why was that a thing?
Oh man. Thank you for this.
I love this so much.
I think writing "A" before the Pop Tarts shirt one instead of just writing "Pop Tart shirts..." plural is COMEDY GENIUS!
I got fired in January. I am switching between sleep shorts and day shorts. They are the same but different colours. I feel the sundial/TV thing hard.