@iceberg These two dance companies are not even a little bit mutually exclusive.
By rallisaurus on Daisy, You're a Drip, Dear: Detestable Literary Characters Who Are Not Technically Villains
Can I add Edmund Bertram from Mansfield Park? Because dude is terrible! I know we're supposed to hate the girl Bertrams and the Crawfords, but at least they were fun! Edmund is just a bore. I'm with Mary Crawford on this one.
You have to think about how awful and/or boring those relationships are.
I mean, lots of people can fit into sandals and have a great time wearing them but that doesn't mean I should feel bad for recognizing that it's not my thing.
@iceberg But really, with love? It feels a bit more like a pillory to me: you're kind of concerned about this thing you've never done, but don't have a lot of venues to explore or talk about it? Or you feel sad that you are having trouble finding a partner and wonder if it's something inside yourself?
Those are not questions I'd brush off with snark. It just seems like pouring salt on whatever sad/lonely/confused wound lead the LW to write in the first place.
Everybody (LWs, too) if you want a real answer, submit it to Captain Awkward.
@Kristen This A Lady and A Dude are rubbing me the wrong way. I really don't know what to say, they were just trying to be funny. What is up? Maybe we should just keep getting advice from them. I doubt it a lot, no offense. (I don't feel bad.)
Well, yes, "imperfect" would be the term for this advice. I'm glad you didn't let the letter writers' dilemmas get in the way of your wisecracks. Sexual incompatibility, supportive friendships and long-term loneliness are such a waste of advice column inches! Bonus points for telling them how insignificant, exaggerated, or hopeless their troubles were. You should look into this full time.
Yeah, can we not do this again? Fun experiment, but it seems like none of the people writing in got any help at all here.
Thank you so much for all of the feedback, I was touched. You're right, the term grimace did make it sound like a terrible situation (I was at a mental low that day about it), and I'm grateful for the support in both directions. It's reassuring to hear from people who are in relationships where the affection dynamic is uneven who have figured out a way to be happy with it, and also reassuring to hear that I could theoretically meet somebody else with the decency to pick me up in the rain but also to kiss me hello.
Writing the letter was cathartic and allowed me to stop thinking about it, and the interim has been better. He's made an effort to spoon a couple of times since then, and after four years, I will of course put thought into it before making any drastic changes.
I hope I don't sound like a moron who cohabited too casually! I've known all along that I don't plan to get married, but a roommate situation seemed reasonable after being together for 2.5 years.
I guess it's always hard to gauge what's normal in relationships. I used to pride myself on spending plenty of time apart from my boyfriend - it makes us happier to see each other! We have our own hobbies! - but perhaps it's a sign that we're pretty detached.
I assumed I would be single again by now (it's always been an entertaining cycle of beaus and single up until now); so several years with one person is new territory.
@parallel-lines Lol I got a pair of Louboutin boots (see story in other comment above) and I really don't like them. Yes, I know that makes me a brat, but I'd much rather have something more practical that I can wear everyday -like, it feels weird to have very very fancy shoes I can never wear and then have like only one pair for daily office wear, when the Loubs could buy me oodles of cute mid-priced office-heels. So, even guys that gift Loubs aren't always perfect, lol!
Oh, & I disagree with the conveniently losing the present thing for the second letter. All I know is that my boyfriend would be more upset that I was careless with his gift than if I simply didn't like it.