@pterodactylish Yes. And then dude friends/boyfriends don't believe you when you try to describe how much harassment you get when you're alone because they've never seen it. Because you don't get the same level of harassment when you're accompanied by a dude.
And I hate that the "I have a partner" excuse works to make creepers go away. I mean, I've used it before, but it also drives me nuts that if I'm at a party talking to someone new and he finds out I'm partnered up, he hightails it out of there. Oh, I am no longer worthy of conversation because I'm not sexually available to you? Thanks, buddy.
@upupandaway *actually spits out water laughing for first time in life; is unfortunately stil at work*
@TheBelleWitch @doesitneedsaying I'm from Alabama, and I got rid of my accent by moving to New York and living with 2 women, one from Long Island and the other from New Jersey. It was suprisingly effective in neutralizing my accent, which I didn't think needed to be neutralized until my first week in law school, when one of my professors did not understand the words that were coming out of my mouth because of my accent, which really was never that thick to begin with. There was also the mind-blowing fact that I had lived my first 22 years in Alabama, a place my northern classmates were simultaneously terrified of (more than one person told me they were too scared to get out of their cars on roadtrips that passed through my state) and fascinated by (is it really like Forrest Gump?).
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I'm with you guys, and so is my favorite English professor, who taught me it was ok to hate the Beatles. There are more of us than you think.
@Moonshine Mona Lisa I went with my boyfriend to a pizza place the other night, and they had a big screen TV playing a live Phil Collins concert. Obviously, we had to leave. But my boyfriend - a musician! in a band! - tried to convince me that Phil Collins is not that bad. But agreed, "In the Air Tonight" is fine, if only because of the accompanying urban legend.
@RebeccaKW I think it is a great choice, too, and I think I see myself making a similar one, or adopting - or both! I've wanted kids since I was a teenager, but have questioned whether marriage/a long-term partner would be the right fit for me since I was in college (I'm 34 now).
The thing is, a friend of mine who's turning 40 is doing this and I'm thrilled for her. I mentioned it to my dad; he made a face and said "why on earth would she do THAT?!" Oof.
@parsleysagerosemary&thyme More hugs. Your situation sounds really hard, and I feel for you. I am in the latter stages of divorce, and my ex and I are at a place where we can actually be kind to one another again, and that kindness reminds me of the good times and makes it easier to forget the bad times - but then I remind myself that the bad times were bad enough to make me leave, and that even though I've had doubts, I have felt more myself this past year than I ever did when I was with him.
I am so sorry. I think being fearful of the future is natural, and that you are taking the right steps in trying not to let that particular anxiety in. When I get those feelings, I remember that my father and stepmother are both divorced and call each other the loves of their lives and that they don't mind how long it took them to find each other. And then I call a friend, tell them my fears, and they will reassure me.
Take care and be kind to yourself.
@thatgirl That is awful. He is awful. So glad you got away.
@Hot Doom Oooohhhh gosh, earthquakes. I was getting icked out by everyone's bug stories, but then your comment reminded me of getting woken up by a huge earthquake three months after I moved here, wondering why the ceiling was falling on my head.