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On The Real Fantasy of Downton Abbey

@LooseBaggyMonster Came here to post this! Thomas is so mean but man is he gorgeous! And I have so much love for Branson it's bananas.

Posted on January 21, 2014 at 7:43 pm 1

On Interview with a Pagan Clergyman

@friday99 I was a little bothered/confused by how he rejected the term "witch" since most pagans I know (including myself) wear it proudly. Also I was a little confused that he didn't bring up the "Do no harm" rede I was brought up with-I never had a hard time with my moral compass growing up. But to each their own, I suppose!

Posted on October 18, 2013 at 6:52 pm 0

On Interview with a Pagan Clergyman

@Oh, squiggles It's called Reddit! (I kid I kid).

Posted on October 18, 2013 at 6:46 pm 0

On Interview with a Pagan Clergyman

@stonefruit I can speak to that! I was raised pagan, or as a "witch" as my mom called it, but the belief system boiled down to plain-old Wicca/kitchen witchcraft most of the time. So I am not super familiar with all the Judaeo-Christian gender roles, but I have studied most religions. I can say that witchcraft generally does have female goddesses, and is more women-centered in general. HOWEVER, there's a lot of discussion of male/female energy in the universe- the Goddess and the God. Now, as I grew older, and my gender definitions started to expand, I realized this was a very cisgendered/rigid way of looking at the world (what if you're trans? What if you don't identify as a gender? etc.) It was also expected that men would worship male gods (my mom got my witch boyfriend a book called The Male God) and women female goddesses. That always bothered me. I was even invited to a three day pagan retreat and when I mentioned how my partner would come along, I was informed "no men were allowed."

Now I attribute much of this to the fact that a lot of neo-witch pagan faiths being structured during the second wave of feminism, which also accounts for some uncomfortable co-opting of goddesses from other cultures without any real context, like Kali for example. There was also the ghettoization of Voudoun and Santeria in favor of the supposedly more valid, white Wicca religion. So basically, religion, like anything else, is heavily influenced by politics and cultural climate!

I deal with this now by 1. rejecting any practice which enforces strict gender roles 2. exploring other gods and goddesses that appeal to me regardless of gender, while also maintaining a respectful eye on the cultures they originated 3. keeping my practice generally fluid in a way that suits me and my partner while still keeping the significance and intent pure to ourselves. I wrote a little bit about witchcraft and self-actualization here:
http://dogoodfeelgreat.org/2013/04/witchcraft-and-therapy/
I'm writing the next in the series about gods and goddesses, and how I choose my own (like, one of them is actually, literally Superman!)

So hopefully some of what I wrote was helpful!

Posted on October 18, 2013 at 6:42 pm 0

On Still Hoping to Attain Literal Invisibility

@Lisa Frank I totally agree that it sounds like a bullshit excuse, and I definitely do cringe when I hear women say, "I don't have any women friends!" (especially when they are having lunch WITH ME, THEIR LADY FRIEND). But on the flip side, jealousy is a real thing, and I have had many experiences when ladies who I thought were my friends were really cruel and insulting to me for seemingly no reason. Seeing as I had trusted them, and was rather young, often I internalized their insults and cruelty in a harmful way. Later, after undergoing therapy, I approached a couple of former friends and asked why they had behaved that way, and explained how much it had hurt. Surprisingly, both explained that they were jealous of me and one even said she thought I was so confident it made her angry (hah!)

So, I see the "jealousy" thing as more of a symptom of the patriarchy pitting women against each other, being told to that distrust should be our natural reaction to another lady. Likely, this woman's perception might have been partially right in that some women might distrust her initially, but she is having that same reaction within herself by assuming their malevolence, if that makes sense.

Posted on January 4, 2013 at 6:39 pm 8

On Five of Cups

@Edith Zimmerman So, I just did mine three times in a row regarding my artistic career, and it keeps giving me similar scarily negative cards for my future. The last one: Ten of Wands - Reversed
Meaning: Being foiled by a perceived shortcut. Being duped. Being distracted by glitter. Succumbing to intrigues. Being led astray. Shirking responsibilities. Shallow, self-serving philosophy.
Basically, it keeps telling me that I am destined to become a douchebag and a failure. I don't usually believe in divination, but it is kinda freaking me out that it keeps giving me the same thing. This means I just have to change my ways, right? Like Scrooge?

Posted on January 6, 2012 at 7:29 am 0