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On The Best Time I Accidentally Attended a Teenage Orgy

@theharpoon I logged in just to comment on this comment because it made me laugh so hard I choked on an apple piece, and a coworker had to come in to make sure I was ok.

Posted on July 16, 2013 at 1:18 pm 1

On Let's Talk a Bit About the Woman Who Regrets Her Kids

@hahahaha, ja. When I adopted my dog, I was outright bamboozled - they told me she was well adjusted, leash trained, loved people, kids, and other dogs - LIES, all lies. She's a bundle of nervous insanity who has panic attacks, hides in the tub drooling, and is borderline agoraphobic. I also considered giving her back once I realized just how nuts she actually was, but I didn't. Because guilt, probably, if I'm being honest. I didn't see how anyone else could adopt a dog that was this big of a mess, so I felt like I'd be dooming her to some horrible fate. I've had her for years now and while she's still pretty bonkers, it is a bonkers I have learned how to handle and I love her stupid ugly face so much. Her bonkers has aligned itself with my life in a way that made it work out, I guess is what I'm saying (and she's better than she was after YEARS of working with her to calm her down. Also valerian root).

But I did NOT love her right away. And sometimes you have to do a lot of mental life math, like do I know how to handle a dog with these kinds of problems? Do I have the time, energy, or money to do all the shit this dog needs to be happy and healthy? And if the answer is no, well, you would both be better off if the dog was elsewhere. And it would not make you a bad person at all.

Posted on April 8, 2013 at 12:58 pm 1

On Let's Talk a Bit About the Woman Who Regrets Her Kids

@Emmanuelle Cunt Luckily my dad is more "happy accident!" and my mother can...go to hell, so I'm surprisingly well adjusted. I think. I mean, I am not totally qualified to make that kind of diagnosis but I FEEL well adjusted.

Posted on April 8, 2013 at 12:36 pm 4

On Things Not to Do, According to Recent Articles of Note

@BoozinSusan Since I was a child, Ray Bradbury has been my inner narrator but I like the Werner Herzog idea too. Maybe I can mix it up.

Posted on April 8, 2013 at 11:54 am 1

On Let's Talk a Bit About the Woman Who Regrets Her Kids

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood I was the baby my mother used to trap my father into marriage that she PRETENDED was an accident. So I kind of got the best of both worlds, cause my dad thinks I was an accident and my mom used me to manipulate someone into a terrible decision! Hooray!

Posted on April 8, 2013 at 11:49 am 10

On Let's Talk a Bit About the Woman Who Regrets Her Kids

Posted on April 8, 2013 at 11:48 am 0

On "I'm Not A Human, I'm A Sim"

@TheLetterL Mine are set to never age, so in order to make them age I have to throw them birthday parties. Mine is also set to be in full moon mode constantly. Which is great because zombies! But the zombies are always trying to eat my crops and it drives me nuts.

Which is a sentence that I never imagined myself using but what can you do.

Posted on April 3, 2013 at 4:23 pm 0

On "I'm Not A Human, I'm A Sim"

@Apocalypstick I am sure that hypothetical person is tickled pink to hear that!

Posted on April 3, 2013 at 4:20 pm 0

On "I'm Not A Human, I'm A Sim"

@fondue with cheddar It's like a rainbow! Of death though?

Posted on April 3, 2013 at 4:01 pm 1

On "I'm Not A Human, I'm A Sim"

@Lyesmith Yes, this is basically the best part. In Sims Supernatural, they are different colors according to how they died so I choose their demise according to the interior of the Sim house they will be haunting. /end monster

Posted on April 3, 2013 at 3:41 pm 2