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On Saying Sorry Is a Pretty-Girl Trick

@bonymaroni I'm with you... And my question is this (partially in response to @cardiganboots' summation of the article): Why is the author invested in Linsay Lohan going on Oprah and apologizing? Did she fuck the author over somehow?

Just because apologies are something society really believes celebrities should be handing out doesn't make that true. It's just that when we all get together and "tsk, tsk, tsk" over this person's actions, we can feel better about our own.

Linsay Lohan would only owe me an apology if she said she was going to help me move and then flaked, or something similar. "Why are we duty-bound to give a fuck?" is a much better question than "why didn't she apologize?".

Of course people behave this way ALL. THE FUCKING. TIME. Without being terrible people, even. It just really sucks for the people who make news when they do it.

Not sure how I'm supposed to feel, here.

Posted on August 20, 2013 at 2:10 pm 6

On Behind the Scenes at Camp Gyno, the "Best Tampon Ad in the History of the World"

Every kid in this ad is gold. The girl's face when she hands her the mirror! I'm dying.

Posted on July 31, 2013 at 3:16 pm 1

On Mysterious Helicopter Glitter Halos in Afghanistan Get a Name with a Story

@fondue with cheddar Yeah, it's a bunch of stuff about that and how a fistfight can kill you, basically boiling down to Zimmerman being justified in pulling his gun. It's a huge bummer. However, I do enjoy what he did here with the naming of the halo effect. Everyone has a dumb opinion on something, it's just that sometimes they all seem to come out of the woodwork at once... sigh.

Posted on July 31, 2013 at 12:35 pm 2

On Mysterious Helicopter Glitter Halos in Afghanistan Get a Name with a Story

@fondue with cheddar Oooh, i think I just found why... There's some shit about Trayvon Martin on his page suggesting that the media has made Martin into an "Angel" because of race-baiting... The main thesis is that Martin wasn't a "child" because lots of guys his age (17) go in to the military and are trained killers. Pretty standard "white guy who takes umbrage with the idea that our society is kinder to him by default" stuff.

Posted on July 31, 2013 at 12:05 pm 1

On Thank You So Much For Being With Me Tonight to Celebrate My Twenty-Five-And-Twelve-Month Birthday

@Brunhilde As long as you don't kick a puppy on the way, I feel like this is fine.

Posted on July 30, 2013 at 1:58 pm 4

On Thank You So Much For Being With Me Tonight to Celebrate My Twenty-Five-And-Twelve-Month Birthday

@skyslang Srsly. Your mission as an adult should you choose to accept it: Get up. Go to the job. Pay the bills.

...Which is not to say that it won't occasionally seem like the hardest, worst thing ever... but that's why you keep going to the job, so you can afford the wine.

Posted on July 30, 2013 at 12:58 pm 4

On Thank You So Much For Being With Me Tonight to Celebrate My Twenty-Five-And-Twelve-Month Birthday

I would like to thank everyone for joining me for my upcoming 25 and 96 month birthday. Ahrm. The shit is way too scattered to get it all together, plus i'm pretty sure life's too short to spend it bending over to pick up shit.

Posted on July 30, 2013 at 12:22 pm 12

On A to Z: Lesser-Known Hells

Carnivore's Paradise:

Inhabitants: Those who, upon asking about your eating habits, roll their eyes and start talking to the person next to them as though you aren't there: "I couldn't LIIIIIIIIIVE without bacon. And you know, vegetarians are malnourished. Every vegetarian I've ever known has been sick, like, ALL. THE. TIME. Plus they tend to be fat because carbs. I mean, it's basically an eating disorder. Also, if you drink? You're obviously a hypocrite, you know you aren't healthy, right?"

Punishment: Run after your fucking food and spear it to death with a stick made sharp and pointy in the fire over the course of a grueling 3-day hunt, and then field dress everything with a blade made from a stone that has the edge chipped off of it. Eat bugs to avoid dying in the times between hunts, when you will be going nuts from hunger because you can't eat a goddamn vegetable. Just when the inhabitants get used to the rigors of his terrain, it is changed. Also, the weather is shitty.

Man, fuck those guys.

Posted on July 29, 2013 at 4:21 pm 5

On A to Z: Lesser-Known Hells

@Judith Slutler ::starts slow clap::

Posted on July 29, 2013 at 4:07 pm 2

On Friday Open Thread

@olivebee I actually remembered that when I recognized her from Fried Green Tomatoes!

Posted on July 26, 2013 at 4:31 pm 0