Just putting it out there that ladies basically get painted as unfuckable swamp monsters if we should have the temerity to grow pubes or whatever. The idea that it hasn't occurred to this guy that paying attention to his hygiene or style may affect the way women approach him blows my mind. Bllllloooows it.
@nerdshares: this was something I very much wanted to say as well.
I usually make a deliberate choice not to read more into something than what was actually said or written, but the (GOD HELP ME I HATE THIS TERM) privileging of vaginal sex is inescapable here. If PIV sex is the only real, bonding, meaningful kind, and the only kind that "counts," that viewpoint sure has a lot to say about gay sex. Not real, not bonding, not meaningful. GAH. No me gusta.
It's a completely heteronormative view of sex, which is not surprising for a woman who was raised Catholic (even though she stopped going to mass in her teens). She probably doesn't mean to devalue anyone else's experience.
However, it's interesting that the majority of commenters here would probably not describe Scarlet as a virgin, though that's where she places herself on the sexual continuum. All sex counts as sex around here! :)
@iseeshiny Yeah as a gay lady I side-eyed this particular "virgin" super hard. Also words have meanings and you don't get to redefine what they are based on your preferred identity.
Scarlet reminds me of my infuriating friend who calls herself a vegetarian and always orders the fish.
@nerdshares Right? "It doesn't mean as much if you couldn't make a baby doing it" is an attitude that makes me a little side-eyey. And maybe why some of the commentariat is getting so irked about her self-defining as a virgin.
As karion touched on a bit upthread, it's the idea that anal and oral sex are "less than" that bothers me, because that worldview essentially devalues gay sexual experience. Yes, we can assume that Scarlet means vaginal sex is more significant to her personally, but: she doesn't exist in a vacuum. Sure, she can define her sexuality the way she wants to, but the cultural assumptions that underlie WHY she considers p-in-v sex a defining experience are pretty fucking problematic.
Aw this story takes me back to montreal 2008, me the only one of my friends out of school and desperately trying to find a job in montreal (despite barely speaking french) so that i could spend the year with everybody.
finally got an interview to work with a kid who had autism and even though I didn't particularly botch the interview horribly or anything, the lady was just looking for somebody with more experience. Cue me sobbing in the shower, that awkward hiccuping crying where you can't stop to take a breath and yelling things like "I'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYYYHEEEEHEEETHIIIIHIIIHIIIIINGGGGG"
anyway i still haven't amounted to anything BUT i later got a job with a different woman in the same company who said i was the best therapist for children with autism she had ever worked with AND the previous lady called me back later in the year asking if I had any availability to work with her son as she had heard great things about me.
@Beaker I always trick everyone in two truths and a lie by telling them I was the backup singer in my high school bus driver's Santana cover band. (That's a truth.)
Those friends are like if the lookouts on the Titanic had talked with the Iceberg, knew its floaty path, RSVP'd the time and date of their arrival, and then glared at the passengers in the freezing water for making THEM feel uncomfortable about their relationship with Iceberg.
OTHER THING TO DO: Be 16. Go to a big high school where all the classrooms have tile flooring. Collect packets. Distribute said packets to classmates in very large, very boring Spanish class. Instruct classmates to open packets, revealing small handfuls of shiny beady thingies. Instruct classmates to throw thingies forcefully toward the floor at high noon. Watch the clock strike noon. Watch thousands and thousands of gel silica beads BOUNCE OFF OF EVERYTHING IN A BEAUTIFUL SEA OF SHINY BOUNCING THINGIES. And keep bouncing, because holy cow those things have hops. And never get incriminated? Yes. That.