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On Did We Live Up To Our Yearbook Pages?

Just before we were all expected to turn in our yearbook quotes, our school issued a message that they wouldn't allow any abbreviations or "secret messages", so all my friends made up these very dada-esque quotes like "The boy dropped the ball, bounce bounce bounce" to confuse the administration. It didn't effect my quote at all, though, and I've always thought it might make a nice epitaph: "I'm glad it's over, I never liked any of you anyway."

(This wasn't actually true, I'm still friends with many people I knew from high school now, 25 years later. I just thought it was funny. Also I am wearing ripped up long underwear in my photo and I have enormous frizzy 80s hair.)

Posted on June 28, 2013 at 5:29 pm 1

On How to Remember Father's Day

@A. Louise My Dad was the guy across the hall, too, but then, there were many guys across the hall that we encountered throughout his treatment, which lasted exactly one calendar year from diagnosis to death. For every one of them and their families, at some point, we were the lucky ones, even though it didn't feel lucky at all.

@DullHypothesis With an inbox full of messages from companies imploring me to "buy something special for Dad" (UNSUBSCRIBE), I generally still avoid anything father's day related, even though it's been 3 years since he died. I'm glad I read this article, though, because it's lovely and it always makes me really glad to hear about anyone beating/living well after cancer. And anyone who can go through cancer treatment and come out the other side deserves a big fucking pat on the back in my book.

So for this father's day, instead of focusing on the empty space where my dad should be, I'm just gonna focus all my best wishes to Maura's dad instead. Best wishes to you, man! Your daughter is a terrific writer and you, sir, are obviously a badass.

Posted on June 14, 2013 at 3:27 pm 6

On Beauty Secrets: Human Tears

@ghechr It is, as is The Fall. And it's not as slow paced, but Utopia is good too, although not terribly tear-inducing.

Posted on June 5, 2013 at 6:51 pm 0

On 13 Camp Songs Where Someone Dies

@hallelujah Or a cheese.

Posted on June 4, 2013 at 3:47 pm 2

On Miley Cyrus, "We Can't Stop"

Man, whoever owns the patent for autotune must just be a zillionaire.

Posted on June 3, 2013 at 11:49 am 2

On Songs to Have Heard

@fondue with cheddar My first two music purchases were made at the same time, and—here's where it's obvious that I am an Old—they were both seven-inches. The first was I Love Rock n' Roll by Joan Jett obvs, the second was King Tut by Steve Martin. The B-side is him playing banjo. I still have King Tut, sitting in its shredded sleeve, right behind me on a shelf. Pretty sure I played the other one until it disintegrated.

Posted on May 28, 2013 at 3:34 pm 0

On The To-Do List Pie

@Scandyhoovian What's really terrible is when you're old, and that one or two. or, honestly, like, four or five rogue chin hairs start to turn white, just exactly at the same time as your eyesight starts to fail. Makes plucking well nigh impossible. Sometimes, I don't notice them, and then the sunlight will hit me a certain way when I'm looking in the bathroom mirror, and it's all, Hello, Gandalf.

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 3:03 pm 7

On How to Behave on Your Online Date: A Bartender’s Perspective

@par_parenthese

Posted on May 20, 2013 at 3:28 pm 27

On Friday Open Thread

@queenofbithynia Absolutely. Only a sadist would send an email promising to let you know who they DID hire instead of you. Unless you think the interviewer was a sadist, I guess is what I mean.

Posted on May 17, 2013 at 4:48 pm 1

On Friday Open Thread

@meetapossum Diorshow blackout makes me look like I have a pair of fuzzy tarantulas sleeping atop my eyelids, and this is why I love it. All my other makeup at this point is from Rite Aid, but that Diorshow stuff has me hooked.

Posted on May 17, 2013 at 4:31 pm 0