On I'm Never Cooking Again (Not That I Ever Cooked Much to Begin With, So There's Been Very Little Change)

I'm a man who loves to cook - understanding what that meant is one of the things that really made me understand the depth of gender expectations in our culture.

In college, I'd joke about how I hated the stereotype that "women do the cooking" - I talked about celebrity chefs (mostly male!) and how so many of the men I knew loved to cook, treated it as an art, etc. I agreed it was bullshit that women were expected to (I had had my first "Women's Studies" course by then, but in that way of a lot of 20 year old dudes just being exposed to feminism, I didn't get it.

Fast forward a few years. I work a regular office job with regular office hours, I have to get up in the mornings for work, iron my own clothes, feed myself, do my chores, try to find women who might be interested in sharing a coffee or maybe a life with me, pay bills (I still don't understand why we have to have so many different bills) - all of that regular shit everyone does.

There should be two different words for cooking. We should have one that refers to people who occasionally like to make a big to-do of it all, with apertifs and pairings and presentation, that society considers an art, that is usually done on television by men; we should have another that refers to that thing we have to do to keep ourselves from dying or eating pizza rolls 7 nights a week, that we expect women to just silently do for us.

Maybe that way instead of hearing "This isn't a sexist area anymore, the men I know love cooking more than the women!" we can get to something a little more honest.

Posted on September 30, 2014 at 11:16 am 0

On Weekend Roundup

@jazzloon I mean, the worst part is that none of the dickpills even work.

Honestly though, great first week new team. Really enjoyed it.

Posted on September 5, 2014 at 5:12 pm 3

On It's Been Real, Buds

I loved reading what you & Emma did with the site, Jia. I probably talked about the music most, but I know that a lot of the words here, and the expansions they've made to my thinking about the world, will be what stays with me forever.

Posted on August 15, 2014 at 3:21 pm 0

On Please Welcome Haley Mlotek

Hmm on one hand I despise Canada. On the other hand, this new editor seems really great.

Also, I refuse to believe all cottages aren't basically the first little pigs house that the wolf blew down. (although that makes them seem really charming to me, conflicting AGAIN with my anti-candian bias)

Posted on August 15, 2014 at 12:15 pm 0

On The Worst Flirting in the World (in Ascending Order)

Guilty Of: 1-3, 5-7, 9, 11

Receiving End Of: Same

Posted on August 12, 2014 at 1:51 pm 0

On Missed Connection - w4w

@j-i-a i'm thrilled to be a 1-percenter & all, but i feel like my uncles that had to buy motorcyles & sell meth to get that label might make fun of me when i explain why i just put this patch on my sleeveless denim jacket.

Posted on August 8, 2014 at 12:46 pm 0

On A Long Weekend Playlist


Dipset is the greatest. You know those people in the late 70s / early 80s that rode around in camaros with droopy eyelids, softpacks of marlboro reds rolled up in tshirt sleeves, tight jeans, baggy shirts, warm schaffer beer, in poolhalls and parking lots, denim jackets, listenin' to def leppard and ac/dc and thin lizzy? (AKA my mom & dad & aunts/uncles/etc)?

I really feel like dipset is the 2002-2006-ish version of that. Which is why I fucking love it, I guess. Juelz, Jim, Cam, and Freekey forever.

Posted on July 3, 2014 at 10:05 am 0

On What's the Uncoolest Music You Listen To?

I'm fascinated by the ideas of how gender shapes fandomm and in turn by how becoming a fan of things we like socializes gender norms into us.

Having been a sci-fi dork when I was little and then moving away from that and ending up a sports geek as a grown dude, I see a lot of the same typically male stances in both - obsession with numbers and lists over actual story, competition to know the most obscure relevant trivia, fandom as a battleground.

I wonder, are these traits we bring to our fandom because of the way we've been taught to perform our gender? Or maybe do we think that 'the way to act' in life is the way we learn to act in our little clique at 7 years old, be it obsessed with Star Wars or Baseball or Motors?

I dunno anything about what little girls are like, so maybe I'm way off?

Posted on July 1, 2014 at 1:15 pm 0

On Things Jack White Is For and Against, Judging by His New Album

@eizverson22 Does it make me horribly uncool to admit that I'll always love the stuff w/ Meg better than any of his other projects?

Posted on July 1, 2014 at 1:02 pm 0

On Children's Books for Young Feminists

Ahhh I love this. Other than The Giving Tree, this is like, my personal all-time list of fave kids books....

...and The Giving Tree joke is especially awesome. My mom always tells me it was her favorite book to read to me, and her favorite book about being a mom...

Which, like, woh, ma. GO DO YOU A LI'L BIT. My mom is really dope and is pursuing totally her-own things post-kids, but I always feel so bummed seeing this. She shouldn't be a giving tree! SHAKE YOUR OWN LEAVES FOR YOUR OWN SELF MA, LOVE YA.

Posted on July 1, 2014 at 12:12 pm 1