On L1CENSE PL8
@causedbycomma I am intrigued by your DC-related aside! It's about representation for DC residents in the US government... I don't understand how DC's Representative not getting to vote in Congress does anything to punish the DC city government? Is that what you mean?
@keynesiancutie Urgh yes? I don't know what my problem is, I pay attention to this show and have for a few bachelors/bachelorettes. It's incredibly formulaic and dull and yet, I want to see it? Help me understand this.
I think the producers are trolling us with Tierra, frankly, which is an unkind thing TV types seem to like to do with ladies whose personality integration situation seems a little tenuous. Also if you Google bachelor spoilers you will learn who wins, and then you can watch the show and wonder why if she's the winner they've edited it so that you can't hardly tell that she and the dude have even spoken.
Do you think he really thinks that he's gonna find a wife this way? What does it mean about our culture that weird TV arranged marriages are our entertainment?
@Absurd Bird I am probably a mean old bitch but I was not really bothered by this advice either. It's like a stoned conversation version of Coke Talk's one-line advice (whatever she calls it. Bite sized?). Which is atypical here, so.
Writing creative, interesting advice content that doesn't rankle is probably hard. The answers to so many problems boil down to it's none of your business/learn to set boundaries/give it time/see a therapist. Everything else is style.
Speaking of, the best advice a therapist ever gave me was, "your life is not always going to work out the way you want it to so you need to learn how to deal with that."
Like I said, mean old bitch.
@themmases Crisis of self image, or, they/their publication has not yet generated enough Cat Marnell-related click traffic so they are taking one for the team.
@Emmanuelle Cunt Similar here. I really appreciate how thoughtful and reflective Clara is and this interview is a window into a worldview I am not often privy to, but I found myself getting angry a little bit. Like, what the FUCK does "purity" even mean!? We are all filthy animals! Sewing my vulva together will not make Jesus come back!
My high school took the weeny way out on required sex ed and gave equal time to Planned Parenthood and a fundamentalist group, the latter of which sent a lady in to tell us the difference between "peaches and prunes" (prunes are OK kisses because you keep your mouth shut; peaches are not OK kisses because try to say peach without opening your mouth! There be [tongue] dragons!), and how if you became aroused from kissing without petting, that means you must have been sexually abused. Anyway, the lectures we got from this person were all about "don't you dare do [makeout or sex thing], or else you will immediately get pregnant & herpes" (and exiled from the kingdom of heaven, but you can't talk about that in public school so all we got was the fear stuff).
It seems to me to be a needless culture of fear, secrecy and intimidation, as well as a total denial of the possibility of self-control.
Fight the current?
-Get out of bed every day at the same time, in the morning
-Force yourself to put on real clothes, every day, even if the plan for the day is Stay Home
-Eat real, healthy food, at least 3 times daily, at the same times each day
-Exercise outside every day (a walk around the block at lunch absolutely counts! Looking up and noticing things counts more!)
-Have a real interaction (i.e. not just a text exchange) with at least one friend/family member you care about every day
-If things you need to do are causing you anxiety (pay bills, write thank you notes, figure out student loans, whatever), make a list of them and commit to making a plan for dealing with each one, one thing per day
-Read or listen to or see or do or be one interesting thing each day. The unbrushed listlessness will not be what the boy notices if you have a brain full of interesting things, and a day full of things you need to do.
-If faking it until you make it doesn't self-propel you out of your slump, it might be time for counseling/medication/a combination (that's what finally worked for me).
@travelmugs Dry Joseph?
Oh, sob. This is such a lovely memorial. I've been sad about Rakoff all day, and I've been homesick for Seattle all week, so this post is particularly affecting (talk about talk about myself while talking about them!).
I love this! Such a fascinating cycle. I have a friend who has a very successful blog about the gardening end of the Crunchy Domestic (God)dess spectrum, and she says that in addition to the liberal hippie crunchy The Man-averse portion of her audience, she also has a lot of readers who identify as "preppers-" they're preparing for the eventual economic collapse/peak oil/other doomsday thing. Some of today's domestic goddesses have guns and personal gold reserves!
Dude coming by unannounced to "do maintenance" is a classic DC-area scam. Don't feel bad about opening doors, but never let this guy into your home. Most jurisdictions have landlord-tenant laws requiring advanced notice for all but the most emergency entry of your rental unit (i.e., if there is a massive and sudden plumbing explosion, they can come in; otherwise, no). He's not coming by to help.
IMPORTANT TO KNOW if you don't already: Landlord-tenant law enforcement rests almost exclusively on the tenant. If you are a renter, you MUST learn your rights and your legal recourse for a violation of those rights. Most landlord-tenant relationships are pretty good, but if yours isn't, you can do something about it. Check out your lease, but also look at your city/county agency in charge of these things. Many areas have simple handouts for renters.