I really love how, every time some editor tried to trot out the old "Nah, women don't really want to see penises", they were met with a tsunami of "COOOOOOCCCCKKK!!! We demand caaaaawwwwk!!"
Democracy in action.
By Inkling on Friday Open Thread
ANY guy worth fucking is up to fucking during shark week, in my opinion. Just give him this look like "the Queen will see you now" and gently graze his booty.
@one cow. That is awful. I am so sorry. May he be vividly reminded of why she's an ex and may he beg you for forgiveness.
@milominderbender Yes, since it's not their business to manage your relationship with Karen. You CAN tell them you are really not happy with them bailing on you and "your ex-friend is in town and we wanted to see her" isn't an excuse that holds water.
And then yeah, getting rid of your revolting friends or seriously lowering your expectations for what your relationship will provide.
Correct friend behavior: Karen, I can't make it, I have plans with @Milominderbender. [OPTIONAL--->] Shall I ask if she'd like to join us doing X, or if you can come along to the movie?
I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I interviewed with a consulting firm last week and I felt like I crushed the interview, although the next day they told me they weren't hiring me. Then they offered me a spot in a workshop this week--they said they liked me a lot and could tell I was interested in their field, and thought the workshop would be good professional development for me. I was totally stoked to go, and it was wonderful, and then at the end of it they offered me the job anyway!!!! Apparently even though they spoke to more people, I was memorable and they kept thinking about me and liked me and wanted to hire me!
I am so so over the moon. I'd been starting to feel so demoralized by unemployment, and now I am excited to get back into the swing of things and hopefully feel like a more normal person!
@MollyculeTheory I shared bunk beds with someone I vaguely knew from high school a few years back. She talked in her sleep. A lot. About me. About how weird and awkward and annoying I was.
I moved out.
My cousin, an affable 6ft 3in history nerd, put up posters in the hallway of his school seeking applicants to sign up to be his prom date. He got several responses, and interviewed them each and decided which one he'd take. He married the lucky gal a couple years later and they just had their 10 year anniversary and their second child. It may have been the only date he ever went on, come to think of it.
@Ophelia Same here. And I can ignore it on written documents but it REALLY bugs me in person. A few weeks ago I met one of my husband's coworkers for the first time and he said, "Ah! Mrs. HisLastName" and I deathglared deep into his soul and said, "It's MS. Fruitingbody" ... he was exceptionally nice to me for the rest of the evening.
By Inkling on Friday Open Thread
I don't have a picture up specifically because I get complimented by stranger dudes all the time in real life, and I would be beyond pissed to tolerate that in my own bedroom. There was a good article here I guess you missed, the compliments/cheeseburgers article? Basically, imagine a compliments as cheeseburgers.
> everyone likes cheeseburgers, that's not bad!
> but every time you talk to someone, apply for a job, check your mail, step outside, someone shoves a fucking cheeseburger in your face
> and they're not all nice
> some/most are gristly and creepy and make you feel uncomfortable
> and no matter what you do, how successful or passionate or desperate you are, when you get within the visual range of another human being, everyone's like, "here comes cheeseburger dude"
So save the compliments for if a woman wants to ask you out on a date because if she is doing a romantic activity with you, she might want to hear your mouth. Otherwise, for the love of female sanity everywhere, please just say "Hey, you seem really interesting and I'd like to get to know you. Do you like X?" Few profile details leads to less detailed intro messages and that is maybe how they like it.
PS Seconding Blushingflwr that you calling me attractive also tells me nothing interesting about you. You think I'm attractive! Woweeee! We can talk all day long about how hot I am and I won't wonder, in this wide world of porn, if you didn't wank it to my picture already!
@leon s So, my answer is, you don't say anything to someone with a profile like that. I don't.
I have been on the receiving end of a lot of "you have a pretty smile" messages, and while they don't come off as creepy to me, they do come off as shallow and lazy. What they say to me is that you saw my picture and made a messaging decision based solely on that. And, you know, if we were in a bar, it would be okay for you to base the "let me try to talk to this girl" decision solely on my smile. But on the Internet, I feel like the picture should be secondary. Or should be the cover that gets you to read the back of the book. But you should read the back of the book before you buy, you know?
I get that a lot of women have really BORING profiles, but I think it's better to hold out for someone who has one that's interesting. And then you reference the specific thing in her profile that made you message her (e.g. "hey, I really like band X too" or "I think the best pho place in the city is Y, agree/disagree"). I, personally, hate when dudes message me with questions they could google, but that might be a personal quirk (I'd rather you say "I'd never heard of X till I read your profile, I googled it, it seems cool, how'd you get into it" than "what's X?")
Also, for me, I can look at my pictures and say "yes, these are good pictures of me, I am genuinely happy in these pictures and it shows, and that is a thing people find attractive", but I do not trust dudes whose messages to me emphasize how attractive they find me. Partly this is a self-image thing; I will say that yes, I am pretty, but I would not call myself beautiful or gorgeous, and when guys do I think either "wow, you have low standards" or "you are trying to flatter me" (instead of what I should think, which is "different people assign different meanings to those words" and "beauty is in the eye of the beholder").
So, TL;DR version: if you have nothing to say to a girl online based on her profile, don't say anything. It's not like you have a quota of messages to meet.