@Tim Donnelly Good one! You took me by surprise- I snarfed into my coffee.
@iceberg Dennis the Menace used to make me super upset as a child, but then so did anything with a rational person who was called a "grump" or not believed, because the craaaazy character was the good guy. For instance, Inspector Gadget would make me SO mad, because Penny did all the work and got none of the credit! And I couldn't (and still can't) stand the movie What About Bob. It gives me heartburn.
And if Mr. Magoo would have JUST put on his dang GLASSES...
@Emby Excellent, Dr. Meachum.
As a baby, your parents are murdered during a breaking and entering just after they moved to their new home. Your adoptive mother, deep in grief from the loss of her biological child, takes you in, but your father will never accept you, because you can't match up to his impossible standards. You make some misfit friends, and life seems fine until a really hot, kinda klutzy lady and her bumbling academic dad arrive at your home. You learn their strange customs. Their guide turns out to be a madman and tries to kill your dad. You try to save your dad, but it doesn't work so well. You accidentally kill the guide, but you marry the hot klutz, so it all works out.
@lora.bee EW. I'm SO glad you gave him what-for. He should not be permitted to continue this juiceboxery.
I dated a dude once who insisted that a gal friend of his didn't like the female guest he had on his podcast, "Because she's a girl. Girls don't get along."
And I said, "Say whaaaa?"
To which he replied, "That's why, in improv scenes," He is an improvisor, "Girls always start antagonistic scenes with each other. Because they don't get along."
And I went, "Oh, thank you very much for mansplaining that to me, I really appreciate that."
And he follows that up with this gem, "You know who told me that? My female improv teacher. So."
Me: "Oh, good, I'm super glad she can speak for all women. That takes a load off."
And then I continued to date him for a month after that what'swrongwithme.
@Amphora That's a good point. That's a really good point. Still, I wouldn't wanna be in a room alone with it at night. You know, just in case.
Wait...but it DOES kinda move at night. Right? Am I seeing things? It skootches juuuust a little bit.
@Danzig! Yeah, I'm actually pretty sure it's just gonna be like, "Well, you seem delicious, let's give it a go," and then unhinge its jaw or whatever. But still! That legend is enough to keep me suitably monocle-dropping and pearl-clutchy.
Guuuuys. I WAS okay with snakes, and still am with snakes that are not in homes, til I heard a friend of mine tell a story about how someone she knew or something (Obviously this is a well-researched and verifiable story. But I am a sucker for a well-told urban legend, and this one sounds true, so hear me out!) owned a giant snake that would lay down next to her every night, stretched out like it was gonna spoon her. One day the lady told the vet or someone with animal knowledge about this snake's habit, and they were all, "NOPE! GET RID OF THAT SNAKE IMMEDIATELY. BAD NEWS." Because apparently that's what large snakes do when they're trying to figure out if they're big enough to eat you yet. YIPE.
@LadyPuns Pssh, you are. And oh man, Hooray! I can't even wait!