By yeah-elle on Friday Open Thread
guys guys guys, i am just so happy about this that i have no compunction about gloating about it here.
when i finally got to spend like half an hour making out with my crush-that-i-asked-out, he kept stopping just to hug me and mutter little things like "oh man" and "jeez" and kiss the side of my head.
it's so cheesy and yet i am so happyyyyy, i am spending a ridiculous amount of time just smiling off into the ether like a total nutjob. it's scary guyssss i'm happy it's scary.
@LunaLunaLunaMoth @LunaLunaLunaMoth I don't have a problem with her English at all. That's not what I'm saying. What I have a problem with is the author's choice to portray this woman's thoughts through his own lens and his own perspective, without bringing in a third party to try and bridge the language gap to gain a deeper understanding of what Christina/Angela is saying on a more nuanced level, and/or by writing out the "pidgin" version of their conversation. (In an English-language written piece, especially a narrative like this one, the person "speaking" in broken English is inevitably going to come out sounding like the less eloquent/intelligent speaker.)
I work at an organization that deals pretty heavily with human trafficking/sex trafficking, and I spend a lot of my time handling media portrayals and cultural biases surrounding trafficked women, sex workers, and the gray areas in between these two extremes. It's true that women like Christina/Angela don't tend to write essays for the Hairpin - but that's all the more reason to give them appropriate platforms for when their voices do make it onto sites like these. Sex workers and prostitutes are used way too often as navel-gazing devices for essay writers and society at large - we really don't need another piece that uses them as literary metaphors to make a point.
For what it's worth, I really did think the prose was lovely, their interaction at the end was nice, and if this was done just a little bit differently I would be a lot more comfortable.
@Susanna Thanks for giving us a better lens into things! I'm kind of amazed how little I learned about the subject and her life, and how much, by contrast, I learned about the author.
@Quinn A@twitter You know, oftentimes depressed/anxious/SAD people feel comforted knowing another person gets where they are. Just because you're feeling better doesn't mean you don't know and understand how she feels now, and you know what to do to help her. Try not to let yourself fall into some sort of depression-survivor's guilt; be the best you, and help her be the best her, because that is what couples do!
@Quinn A@twitter I also forgot to say that it's really cool of you to be so supportive and proactive during what seems like a pretty stressful time for both of you.
By Urwelt on Friday Open Thread
I have a third date with a guy who seems pretty cool this Sunday! I'll probably sleep with him, which will make him the first new person I've slept with in over a year. I'm a little nervous. You get used to things when you're in a relationship, like knowing for sure that he has a normal looking dick.
I wish that pieces like this, like a lot of stuff I've seen from Miller on this site, when they take a series of events or irritations or experiences that lead to a personal epiphany would go further than the effect of that epiphany on author, given their general social media, pop culture, and interpersonal experience nature. If you're sick of snarky negative people ragging on stuff myopically, maybe change the way you approach media. When Franzen said those idiotic things about Twitter, I opted to read the smart interesting people talking about the racial, ageist, classist aspects of his approach, like the fact that his success affords him the ability to not be involved with social media and still have a huge career, where as a lot of other people who aren't in his position have to hustle and form supportive communities and signal boost to get a leg up in the writing world. I've opted out of reading about the Miley Cyrus circus since I have no personal interest in her, but the pieces I've seen linked have been from authors with a thoughtful nuanced track record, who take a media firestorm and turn it into an opportunity to examine personal thoughts and behaviours alongside major political and cultural realities. That's what I hoped for when I clicked over here.
I feel like there's no way to talk about this kind of media negativity without sounding all oooh, look at me and my smarter more critical media sensibility, and I get that reaction. But seriously--if you don't like the aggressive snark and criticism of the pop culture media cycle, which is certainly understandable, why wouldn't you choose another approach or just opt out? I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to take from this epitome beyond "People are mean on the internet" and I certainly know that. I'm interested in the topics Miller talks about, or I wouldn't bother commenting, I just wish she would take them further.
Emma, when people were talking about the Thought Catalog-iness of the Economist piece, I think this is what they meant. Its not that pieces like this are bad, it's just that they fall short in their conclusions.
By Pippa on We're All Jerks
I feel like if I were Rielle Hunter and I read this I would... not feel particularly better?
The fact that I wrote poetry as an adolescent embarrasses me. The poems themselves embarrass me more. Except the sonnet explaining evolution: that one won me some money and it was nerdy instead of angsty.
Personal trainer. "You can do it! Go! Go! Go! G-Oh fine let's go get a smoothie and sit down."