On Not Chasing Amy
@wee_ramekin I can't hear that quote anymore without thinking, "Damn, poor Legion...the geth got fucked over good."
(anyone?)
0
On Ask a Clean Person: Laundry School - Bras and Mildew and Taffy, Oh My!
@falconet This is a silly question; I feel I should know the answer to this, but: Do you have Victoria's Secret in Canada?
I know, I know, the construction isn't fabulous; there are better bras to be had. BUT. I'm a 32D too, and no matter what sales associates tell me, a 34C is NOT the same thing. And one of the only places I'm going to find 32D that doesn't cost a mint is...
...The Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual Sale.
That is the time to stock up. And (because inevitably, you will end up with 34Cs, too) you can find a 34C that's comfortable for you. I have always had amazing luck finding more-than-a-handful of 32Ds to choose from, and it's lovely, because I don't have to hunt through the store for them; they're all in one li'l bin. The sale helps, too. I usually end up buying about 5 bras/year and spending roughly $100-$125.
0
On Bridal Beauty: Five Things to Do to Your Face
@teenie Yves St Laurent Glossy Stain. Hybrid lip color--it's at Sephora and YSL counters. Probably other places, too. But it's a weird, cool thing. You put it on, and it looks a little sheer. Let it set for a minute or two, and the pigment sets into your lips, leaving a clear gloss on top. The gloss wears off--like any gloss does--after a few hours, but the stain is left and the color won't transfer through the gloss.
0
On Toxic Dating, "Abominable" Sisters, and the French Manicure
@LW #2 AAAAHHHH let's just get married. Yep. Yep. Yep. I'm happy for his support! I'm happy he wants me to realize my dreams! It's just that I cannot picture (yeah, sorry if this makes me a bit of a bitch) spending the rest of my life with someone who is done dreaming! Who is done wanting! Who is done taking an active interest in life. I'm glad he'll do whatever I want, but the bottom line is he does it a) to make me happy, or b) to spend time with me. It's never something he's passionate about, or wants to get me interested in, or has always wanted to do since before we met.
He is worried that he has nothing interesting to say in conversation. Our therapist tells him to forget that and just talk. Well, I felt like I was becoming uninteresting as a SAHM. So I took up bread-baking, and started refinishing furniture, and looked into volleyball clinics, and, you know...began that self-actualization. Independent of him. So it's not that I need the encouragement--and it sounds like you don't, either. You're already started. You just figured out that hey, it would be nice not to be on a learning/wanting/experiencing quest alone. That your life together would be a hell of a lot richer if he was working on his own set of "want to/wish to" things. And, honestly, you'd feel like you were with a much more awesome person!
(Because--again, I'm probably gonna get called out for this--aren't you feeling like you're becoming more awesome? You're figuring shit out, doing new things, breaking out a bit?)
I dunno. All the marriage books I am reading talk about resolving conflicts when dreams don't mesh. And, I guess, being content is a dream? But they don't really address what happens when one partner is done dreaming and the other isn't.
AARRRRGH.
0
On Toxic Dating, "Abominable" Sisters, and the French Manicure
And French manis are great. Just make sure you stick with short nails and polish that isn't stark white. Clear Pink is your friend.
0
On Toxic Dating, "Abominable" Sisters, and the French Manicure
LW2, I need to get in your boat with you, because this is the letter I was gonna write. Except I'm married 4 years, together for 6. Dear lord, I hope you read this far down in the comments, because I'm desperate enough to say "please, come talk."
My question to you is this (because this is my situation): Is his support for all your dreams good enough? I have a husband who is content. Super content, by his own admission. Great job, house in suburbs, toddler content. He runs occasionally, plays a lot of video games, likes baseball...but has no more hopes or dreams. No desire to grow. He's hit the apex of his life and wants to enjoy it. He's also 9 years older than me.
I, on the other hand, want to grow. Do things together. Take classes, learn new recipes, go places. He wants none of that--but will do it if I ask him. What I want from him, though, is to bring his own hopes and dreams to the table. Like--I planned our honeymoon, because when I asked him where he wanted to go, he answered, "Never really wanted to go anywhere. What about you?" and he is very accommodating that way. Now I know he sees that as an act of love (he'll support me in damn near anything I want) but I want someone who is equal to me in the learning/experiencing/wanting portion of life. And it sounds like that's where you're coming from, too.
I am also a bit of a lazy loner who has spent the past year or so realizing how much I've coasted up to this point, and now I'm making up for lost time. So, yeah, maybe I'm projecting. Or maybe I'm just figuring out what I want for my life and, as such, in a relationship. Because I've started that self-actualization thing; I'm not just hoping my husband will begin it. Sounds like you have, too.
So, yeah: Would you be satisfied if, like A Lady suggested, he provided blanket support to all you wanted to do? Or would you feel this weird feeling of inequality? Like, sometimes, you'd want to provide support for him? Or bond over passions you both individually had, too? I'm very curious, because right now I'm dealing with a marriage counselor who can't seem to see past "But he's not holding you back! What do you want from him?" and I can't quite get across how "hopes and dreams" is ridiculously important.
2
On Ask a Clean Person: Laundry School Is In Session!
@nevernude cutoffs If you infographic this, and sell it on CafePress or something, I will buy it, laminate it, and put it in my laundry room in a hallowed, sacred spot.
3
On 'Pinners Unite for Good!
@Sam I am I'm chiming in to say please, please, please remember your local animal shelters! And I know it sounds counterintuitive, but the kill ones often need the most money. You can make sure your money is being used to fund animals staying alive. I volunteer for Berea Animal Rescue Fund in Ohio...currently our cat building is a mobile home. And we provide the best medical care for animals in NE Ohio, because we have lovely donors and vets and volunteers. But still! A mobile home! We need a building! People, your local shelters need the money. Ten dollars goes a loooooooong way.
0
On Ways to [Not] Lose Your 43 Pounds of Baby Weight
@thebestjasmine Yes, I was keeping it in the realm of women who've had children, mostly because there have been a lot of comments mentioned (here and in general) that don't directly relate to the outer looks of one's body--slings for raising the uterus and bladder, episiotomies done well and poorly, the 36-hour labor followed by a C-section with complications--and I think those can fall in the realm of the fear of the unknown or flippantly demeaning those who have chosen to become mothers.
BUT, I think I'm finally (sorry it's taken me pages of text to get to this point) understanding what you're saying. That "Hey, you're thinking that this type of body is gross, and you're just thinking about it in pregnant terms...but, um, a lot of people have bodies like this as a matter of normalcy. Transitive property, you have serious issues about body 'grossness.'" Yes?
(In which case, I will write the shortest thing I have written, and say that I am fully with you on that one.)
0
On Not Chasing Amy
That fucker ditched her cats. THAT FUCKER DITCHED HER CATS.