thank you for posting this! i was just listening to npr's ted talks millenial discussion and was so frustrated to hear from one of the speakers that you can dwyl by doing unpaid labor and living in your parents basement (literally, thats what he said!). and he's even writing a book about it. npr can be so off sometimes...they never once asked him, for example, about how his privileged position allowed him to live for free in his parents basement OR even how someone who had to at least work part time could still dw[they]l. i certainly claim a status of privilege being white and middle class, but i cannot simply drop my full time work to do what i love. furthermore, doing what i love requires a masters degree, which is even more complicated and costs more money than it would for my parents to just pay me to leave in their basement. i digress, thank you thank you for providing link to this article as i have been getting increasingly frustrated with my peers and their "just do it" mantras.
"so throw yr vision board back into its hell river"
Boy, do I plan on using this retort when anyone brings up "The Secret"-related claptrap.
Also what this country needs is a GUILLOTINE
Cold IS emanating from the walls. I can feel places where my house isn't airtight so much more than I ever have before (like, the deadbold switchplate on the back door is just POURING cold air). It might be a great time to bundle my house up in places if I could stand to leave for supplies.
Maybe this is wrong of me, but I feel a little grumpy when people don't claim adulthood as theirs. Does that mean you don't have to take the consequences of your actions and somebody is going to swoop in and save you, and the rest of us should know that when we interact with you? I recognize, though, that this grumpiness is probably not entirely fair and it's because I am defining adulthood a little differently from other people and it's not about career success, or even stability per se, and definitely not about material trappings, working out, or salad to me -- it's about a fundamental attitude of accepting consequences and not expecting other people to take care of you.
My parents died young, and I took care of my mother for a while when she was dying, so there was never any choice about not becoming an adult. Now I'm happily married without children but can also imagine taking care of myself without my husband around, so yes, still there, an adult and prize it -- it's the price of independence and being honest with myself.
Grown Ass Woman (or G.A.W. because I use it so much) is my primary self identifier, before mother, wife, human, activist, witch, etc. It's a great little empowering fuck you to a society that wants to define me solely by my relationships to men, for me. And it's so goddamn satisfying to use in a heated argument!
My favorite review I've ever read on ModCloth was for a flower crown, and it went something like: "I thought it was pretty, but my boyfriend said I looked like Jesus."
By vine fruit on The Acceptance Pie
I have never had a pie speak to me in the way that everything about this one does.
By Sgt. Exposition on Befriending Your Best Friend's Girlfriend and Resisting the "One True Sex Act"
@hedgehogerie I'm going to disagree (somewhat) with your disagreement. While I think such conversations can be helpful and are important, they are premised (at a certain level) on the person who initiates them to be infinitely giving, patient, and understanding--which can then just encourage LW3's parents to up the pressure. As a trans person with parents who use some of the behaviors described on me, not laying out boundaries and limiting contact instead encouraged people (my mother in particular) to use me as a dumping ground for her feelings about my transition. Without clear boundaries, including not talking about certain things, she felt is was okay to wrap me up in a blanket of guilt and acrimony and hope (in vain) that it would smother my desire to transition.
Like I said, I don't disagree entirely, but I do think in some cases action up to ceasing/limiting contact can be called for when it seems like nothing else works.
@MaryJReno my roomate's [NAME??] half-sister [IS FATHER REMARRIED OR MOTHER? MAY BE GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO TALK ABOUT WORK-LIFE BALANCE] makes $74/hour [IS THIS CONFIRMED] on the computer [WHAT MODEL? NEW COMPUTER? PROBABLY MAC AIR??]. She has been fired from work [WHY WAS SHE FIRED? DETAILS] for five months ["FUNEMPLOYED" MAYBE] but last month her paycheck was $21376 [PAID EVERY MONTH? BIWEEKLY?] just working on the computer for a few hours [PER DAY? IS SHE A WEBCAM GIRL???? DON'T BURY THIS LEDE]. you could look here WWW.Ring77.COm [WE NEED A BETTER LOOKING URL]