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On Leaving the Girl

This felt like a shorter, contemporary version of Breakfast at Tiffany's, only not QUITE as well-written (some grammar issues and events that were ambiguous to the point of being confusing). But I did mostly enjoy it. It was sad though. Stories of adventurous but self-destructive people are always so sad. They're fascinating but they leave you feeling so empty.

Posted on March 14, 2013 at 6:38 pm 2

On Leaving the Girl

@D.@twitter "Where were these girls' parents??"

Actually, from the little bit that I've observed people like this, it seems that part of the problem is precisely the lack of a stable family unit. There hasn't been a sound model for avoiding abusive relationships, caring for your own well-being, or living a more stable life.

Posted on March 14, 2013 at 6:33 pm 1

On Leaving the Girl

@Countess Maritza But she said it was in Denver.

Posted on March 14, 2013 at 6:30 pm 1

On Leaving the Girl

@Emby I think it tends to be more that they don't know any other way to be, because if they slow down long enough to stop being cool and dangerous, they'll have to face emotions, thoughts, and memories that they aren't sure how to deal with. Some people bury those things under drugs or other addictions. Others bury them under the cool and dangerous life. I have a friend who gets like this when things are bad. She just throws herself into reckless activities. The weird thrill from danger or discomfort isn't fun, but for some people it seems to be easier to live with than hurt or sadness.

Posted on March 14, 2013 at 6:07 pm 5

On What Made You a Feminist?

I know there were sad times in my life when the patriarchy was in my head enough that I believed things like women might not get raped if they wear less sexy clothing or men in general are better at math and science than women in general. And I thought for an embarrassingly long time that women are pretty much entirely equal now, so anyone who's still a feminist is just a whiny nag that wants to oppress men. At the same time though, I remember believing some more feminist things and loving fantastic female characters in books. And i loved good female characters in video games. So there was definitely some buried feminism there that hadn't been totally stamped out. It was my college years when I began to learn more about the actual state of women's equality, the truth about the crap I had gotten in my head, and the very real need for feminists still today (also that feminists do not hate men--I mean, maybe some do, but that's not the point of feminism). Becoming good friends with a feminist helped, as did the discovery of feminist websites (including The Hairpin!). If I have to pick one moment where I can recall turning/reverting to feminism, though, it was probably when I read Tess of the D'Urbervilles and got to the part where Angel confesses to Tess that he's not a virgin and then flips out when she confesses that she's not either. That moment made me more angry at a book than I had ever been before or ever have been since.

Posted on March 7, 2013 at 9:13 pm 0

On What Made You a Feminist?

@Countess Maritza Aw, don't feel bad! I am a proud feminist and I do ALL of those things and more. I think the important thing to remember about feminism is that it's not about saying women MUST be non-traditional but that anybody should be able to be non-traditional IF HE OR SHE SO CHOOSES. And there are definitely people out there who want to make it more about the former than the latter, but I don't think guilting people for enjoying traditional things was ever supposed to be the point of feminism. It's supposed to be there to give us MORE options, not just different ones.

Posted on March 7, 2013 at 8:32 pm 0

On What Made You a Feminist?

@Countess Maritza I know what you mean, but I think it's important to keep a word meaning what it means. I mean, languages evolve and all that, but when there's a word like feminist that was coined to serve a very specific language gap and we allow it to start meaning something else without replacing the original word with a new one that communicates the same idea, it's kind of a problem. I definitely think feminist, with its original meaning, is a word that should be retained.

Posted on March 7, 2013 at 8:04 pm 1

On What Made You a Feminist?

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I used to agree with the nonsense of "be careful what you wear so you don't rile up the boys." It SOUNDED like it might be right, and everyone else seemed to think it was true. But years later, I became aware that 1) there are plenty of boys capable of not necessarily getting "riled up" over a woman's clothing choices and 2) that the boys were never taught a similar edict to be careful what they wore so they wouldn't get the women riled up, which was dumb, because it seemed to assume that girls didn't actually have sexy thoughts about guys, and any teenage girl could tell you that wasn't true. Utter crap.

Posted on March 7, 2013 at 6:56 pm 0

On What Made You a Feminist?

@Anninyn Also Ching Shih, who was arguably the most powerful pirate of all time. Lady was a boss.

Posted on March 7, 2013 at 6:52 pm 1

On What Made You a Feminist?

@adorable-eggplant True, but if this WAS a psych test, it was a horribly irresponsible one. When working with a minor, you always have to get parental consent for the child to participate, and then after the test is over, you're ALWAYS supposed to debrief people and explain what was going on. Heck, before the experiment, you have to tell people the possible risks involved, including emotional distress.

Of course, I am not as up on history of ethics in psychology as perhaps I should be. It could be that in 1983 things were sometimes still being done a little less ethically.

Posted on March 7, 2013 at 6:41 pm 0