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On Friday Open Thread

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)
Flowers are a good move, but you'll know it's serious when he sends you food. Or, I guess, that's what would make it serious for me. "Oh, you send me a bouquet of bbq ribs! How thoughtful, we are in love now."

Posted on December 20, 2013 at 5:51 pm 2

On Friday Open Thread

@coolallison I'll be doing Drynuary!

Posted on December 20, 2013 at 5:49 pm 0

On Teenage Girls, as Imagined By an 8-Year-Old in 1991

Man, the spacing made me think Kristin was dating both Sam AND Ann, and I was like, "Get it, Kristin."

Posted on December 19, 2013 at 3:41 pm 6

On The Hobbit, Reviewed, Perfectly

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Hahahahahaha

Posted on December 16, 2013 at 11:35 am 0

On The Hobbit, Reviewed, Perfectly

You guys, I'm totally Team Smaug. I mean, he's just up in his lair for like, what, 150 years, hanging out with his treasure, so much so that it's embedded in his belly, and then these dwarves are like, "Bro, that's our gold, so we're sending in a new guy to trick you."

Whatevs, dwarves. Dragons are the best.

Posted on December 13, 2013 at 7:10 pm 1

On What Your Favorite Holiday Cocktail Says About You

This reminds me, do any of you listen to the Nerdist podcast? I think it's there that the co-hosts, whenever one gets upset about something, the other one will say, "Beyonce," and the upset one will take a deep breath and respond calmly, "I am Yonce." It's amazing.

Posted on December 13, 2013 at 1:44 pm 1

On The Kevin McAllister Pie

@laurel Well, you may be thinking of someone howling at a hot person, but the only times I've ever heard anyone say "woof" in appreciation is when hanging out with Bears. (The gay, hirsute human kind, not the grizzly kind.)

Posted on December 12, 2013 at 3:51 pm 1

On A Thing You Should Probably Read If You Use the NuvaRing

@Roxanne Rholes I will continue to use lesbianism as my birth control.

Posted on December 12, 2013 at 1:26 pm 15

On Pass the Cranberry Chodes: Christmas, According to a December 1951 Copy of Woman's Day

I'm so glad you noted that those words don't make any sense, Jia, because I was so confused while reading about Immy. The rest of this, well. It's like a bad fever dream. Also, I will refrain from making a joke about other uses for coat hangers in the 1950s, but know that I'm side-eyeing the patriarchy. Hard.

Posted on December 11, 2013 at 2:33 pm 5

On "Smile, Girl"

@hallelujah I was floating a river with my little sister once, and around one bend there was a naked dude on the riverbank just jacking it. Obviously he was some type of exhibitionist, and I wanted to ignore him, but my sis was there, and I got pissed. So I yelled at him that I was going to call the cops and that his mother would be so disappointed. He also got an earful from the college dudes floating behind us. Ugh ugh ugh ugh.

Posted on December 10, 2013 at 1:30 pm 3