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On Friday Open Thread

@WardenGentles This is suuuuper late, but I've been on Necon 1/35 for 12 years. I originally started taking it because of irregular periods, ovarian cysts, and endometriosis. I've never had any side effects other than it making my boobs a little bigger. I take the pill continuously now (skipping placebos so I don't have any periods) and it works great. Probably as a result of being on it for so long, I'm really sensitive to the hormones, so if I miss a pill I get really crampy. Only happens if I'm more than 12 hours late with it though. Hope this helps, let me know if you need any other help with the Necon!

Posted on October 27, 2013 at 10:30 pm 0

On Friday Open Thread

@Sea Ermine I've been unemployed for 11 months, and it is hell. I absolutely understand what your dude is going through, though I've had a bit more success in terms of getting interviews (though, obviously haven't gotten a job out of any of those interviews, so I barely would call it "success," really).

The thing that's helped me a lot is volunteering. I volunteer with a domestic violence organization here in DC for about 25 hours per month, answering hotline calls and going on ride alongs with the police to provide services at the scenes of domestic violence incidents. Since you guys are in New York, there are all sorts of fantastic volunteering opportunities for every cause under the sun, and he could do something that he feels really makes a difference while also making new connections that could lead to employment. He could also maybe do a special project on a volunteer basis for a place he likes that would do something the organization/company needs done and utilizes his skill set.

Also, you said he was a chem major - what about tutoring?

Lastly, if he hasn't been doing this already, he should do informational interviews/just have coffee with people he used to work with or who work at places or in positions that he wants to get into. I know how awkward setting those up and having those conversations can be, but they really can be quite worthwhile.

And, edited to add: I also understand the not wanting to take money from a partner. When I was un/underemployed while with my last boyfriend, money became a major source of stress and contention in our relationship. I know you think it's kinda dumb that he won't take the Metrocards since you sincerely don't mind paying for them, but you just have to respect what he feels about things. The hardest point, I think, is in feeling like you're missing out on doing fun things because he can't afford them. Unfortunately there's just no good solution to this. My current boyfriend has plenty of money to treat me to things, and he's decided that he would rather go out to brunch every weekend and go to the symphony or whatever than not, and so he pays for me. I pay for things when I can - in both relationships, it's helped me a lot to feel like I'm contributing wherever possible, so I pick up the tab when we go to a less expensive place. So we both bought each other dinner, even though he spent $100 and I spent $20. Money is such a complicated and loaded subject for people, emotionally, especially when they don't have it, so just try to respect what he sets as his boundaries for you buying things for him, and be sure to express your appreciation when he buys small meals or things like that. Good luck!

Posted on June 7, 2013 at 6:52 pm 0

On An Interview With My Mom

For a Mother's Day gift, I bought a journal thing that has question prompts and is intended to be filled out and then read by both mom and daughter. The questions don't all seem to be easy and light, but there's an instruction in the beginning that if someone doesn't want to discuss what they've written outside of that, then they can note that and it needs to be respected. Now, we had that same rule in family therapy when I was a kid but my mom would shout at me about things as soon as we left the therapist's office. But I'm still hoping this can be a positive if not always sunshine and rainbows experience that lets us know each other better and can even help heal some of the Bad Times Things between us.

Posted on May 10, 2013 at 1:07 pm 1

On An Interview With My Mom

@Edith Zimmerman No way, that's where I'm from! I've never had shad roe or seen it to buy, I don't think.

Posted on May 10, 2013 at 1:04 pm 1

On Other People's Kids, Homes

I think it's really hard for most of us to accept that the people we were friends with, and with whom we want to maintain friendships, are no longer people that we would reasonably befriend now. Sometimes you have to accept how people have changed and decide whether it's worth walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting someone at the expense of your sanity and the desired cleanliness of your home.

If other friends with kids want to visit, I think you can reasonably say "our house isn't child-proof and we've had not-good experiences with kids here before" and figure out alternative arrangements. You can only control your own boundaries and reactions, and "no" on its own is a valid and complete answer. If your parent-friends can't respect that, then that's on them, I think. If you do have kids come again, you need to be more pro-active (after the "this place isn't really kid-friendly" warning) in letting them know what isn't acceptable. They can't just run rough-shod without you saying anything because some parents seem to just not notice what is and isn't acceptable somehow. If it starts a fight that you're saying you need to be reimbursed for the lamp Timmy broke or steam cleaning the chair, then again, that's on them.

Posted on May 7, 2013 at 3:20 pm 17

On The Top 10 Things My Accountant Said While Preparing My Taxes

"You should try to get more W-2s instead of 1099s" is what I (and my mother) say(s) to myself every.single.day.

Posted on April 3, 2013 at 8:53 pm 2

On Things Eva Braun’s Best Friend Said When Hitler First Asked Her Out (Plus One Thing Eva Braun’s Best Friend Said After She Started Dating Hitler)

So this is my username now (I've only ever commented twice before, so not a major change)

Posted on April 1, 2013 at 7:30 pm 10

On The Oddest Book Title of the Year

"It was the best of penises, it was the worst of penises."

Posted on February 22, 2013 at 10:04 am 33

On Wherefore Art Thou, Sex Scenes?

This list is clearly incorrect, because it leaves out the bathroom sex scene in Unfaithful.

Posted on February 14, 2013 at 6:23 pm 0

On The Lykovs of the Siberian Taiga

@laurel Right there with you. Though as @zeytin pointed out, no other children came into the family, so maybe not? Especially given their extreme and extremely adhered-to religious views.

Posted on January 29, 2013 at 12:00 pm 2