cake face.

On Interview with Filmmaker Izzy Chan: "Have we adjusted our expectations of what a man needs to bring to the table?"

@chickpeas akimbo I think you're right that family configuration matters here. I "support" people, but not my partner. I do make more money than he does, but not by a lot. When we're at home, we both care for my daughter, but when we're at work, my mother cares for her. My mother lives with us and we pay for her living expenses because, for a huge host of reasons, she can't work outside the home. I grew up in a very poor family, and this is what happens when someone transcends poverty and can live a little more comfortably--you "support" the ones who'd be living in poverty otherwise. My mother often feels depressed that her child is taking care of her, and I go to great pains to remind her that she's often taking care of my child. We take care of each other. It's hard, but worthwhile.

I understand that the documentary looks at partnered relationships, but "supporting" someone can mean so much more than that.

Posted on September 26, 2013 at 1:54 pm 2

On The Insecurity Pie

@meohmy Oh but also, I've just started using a Diva Cup and taking trapeze classes. I also recently birthed a baby and had a Paragard IUD installed. Heavier postpartum bleeding + much heavier IUD bleeding + wonky cup insertion = blood spilling EVERYWHERE as I hung on the bar in trapeze three weeks ago. Ugh.

Posted on April 11, 2013 at 3:01 pm 3

On The Insecurity Pie

This is all very Seventeen magazine Trauma-rama circa 1999.

Posted on April 11, 2013 at 2:58 pm 18

On Women's Favorite Kinds of Circles

Just, gah, everything about this makes me mad and defensive. I hate the assumption that marriage is panacea to any and every social problem. Every damn issue they identify could be addressed by something other than marriage. Marriage doesn't magically fix all the problems. Access to education, income equality, reproductive justice and so much else would accomplish the same thing AND help rid us of the ridiculous notion that the only acceptable family is the nuclear family.

Of course, I say this as a 26 year old mama cohabitating with her partner of 8 years and co-parenting a 6 month old, so. Yeah.

We're happy with our family. We're doing just fine, and giving our daughter all the stability and love she needs. We're also doing it while showing her that there are lots and lots of ways to build a family.

Posted on March 22, 2013 at 2:09 pm 4

On That Baby Wants to Break You Up

@dk Ah! My girl was born September 2. Even though my partner and I both work outside the home, he works evenings and I work days. So, not only do we never ever see each other, he has the baby in the mornings, when she is an absolute fucking delight. I have her in the evenings, when she's an absolute fucking terror. I am so goddamn resentful sometimes. But, now she's becoming less of an angry blob and more of a person who clearly likes me, so that makes it so much easier.

@Curiouser and curiouser thank you. thank you thank you thank you.

Posted on January 23, 2013 at 10:53 am 0

On That Baby Wants to Break You Up

Yep, this is about right. Gah. I love my kid, and my partner, but gah.

Posted on January 22, 2013 at 12:19 pm 4

On 'Pinners Unite for Good!

Full disclosure, I work for the org, but Jeannette Rankin Women's Scholarship Fund is amazing! We award college scholarships to low-income women 35+. The organization works hard to support nontraditional students who haven't had an opportunity to pursue an undergraduate degree, and access to higher education really changes the lives of these women and their families.

I'm also involved with a fledgling abortion fund in Georgia that is working to make abortion access a reality for low-income folks in the state. The Georgia Reproductive Justice Access Network (GRJAN) launched services in January and really needs support to do this critical work.

Posted on May 3, 2012 at 10:38 am 0

On Ask (Another) Abortion Provider: Roe vs. Wade, 39th Anniversary Commemorative Edition

Thank you so much for this. I had my abortion when I was 19. After that, I became the first person in my family to graduate from college. Today, I work for pay in a non-profit that helps other low-income women go to college and devote my free time to building an abortion fund in my town. I'm also 8 weeks along in a pregnancy I plan not to terminate. I truly believe that having an abortion changed my life and helped me become the person (and parent) I want to be. I've spent my life for the last 6 years working for the kind of world where women don't have to face the same barriers to access I did; thank you for devoting yours to helping other folks make that choice.

Posted on January 23, 2012 at 10:11 pm 6